Cameron Diaz Didn’t Destroy No Magician’s Marriage

Cameron Diaz has shocked us all lately. If people weren't shocked by claims that Cameron Diaz caused a divorce, then the fact that she allegedly caused the divorce of a middle-aged magician who looks like a 15-year-old emo probably did it.

Yesterday Joanne Sarantakos, the soon-to-be ex-wife of preposterously gothy-looking magician Criss Angel, named Cameron Diaz as the reason behind the divorce. Although this news sent our brains into a meltdown - if Cameron Diaz was able to take a drop of quality from Justin Timberlake to Criss Angel, then we've calculated that her next boyfriend will be the man from round our way who spends all day constantly trying to brush his fringe over the 'Eat Shit' tattoo on his forehead - it looks like it's false. Cameron Diaz has stated that she didn't break up Criss Angel's marriage, although she did mention that she'd like a quick go on The Great Soprendo one of these days.

Our heart bleeds for Cameron Diaz sometimes. No, really, it does. It's like Cameron Diaz has reached such a level of fame that the whole world can blame her for everything just because she wears ethnically insensitive bags now and again and is irrationally terrified of cameras. It's got to the point where Cameron Diaz can't even split up with one of the world's biggest popstars and then have a giant embarrassing spaz-out at him in public without people paying attention to her and trying to run her over and stuff. 

The Justin Timberlake kerfuffle taught Cameron Diaz that dabbling in the world of pop was a dangerous game, so that's why for her next apparent conquest Cameron Diaz decided to gun for the world of magic. Sadly, though, Cameron didn't decide to gun for a cool underwater magician like David Blaine or a cool blogging magician like Paul Daniels; instead, Cameron Diaz reportedly set her sights on Criss Angel - a 39-year-old man who has made his millions by doing the exact same magic tricks as everyone else, only dressed as your Dad after deciding that he likes My Chemical Romance. 

However, this might not have been the cleverest move, as Criss Angel's wife Joanne Sarantakos recently claimed that Cameron Diaz destroyed her marriage by being prettier and more famous than she was. Anyway, Joanne Sarantakos' lawyer claimed that he would subpoena Cameron Diaz the next time she set foot in New York, but now Cameron Diaz is saying that Joanne Sarantakos has got it all wrong, as Sky reports:

Her rep Brad Caferelli said in a statement to Us Weekly magazine: "When Cameron met Criss Angel in May of this year, he had been separated from his wife for over a year and she had already filed a petition to divorce him in 2006. "Cameron and Criss went on only four dates over a month ago and have no current relationship." He added: "These are meaningless, attention-seeking attempts to unfairly and unnecessarily exploit Cameron's celebrity by trying to involve her in matters she has nothing to do with."

Looking at things logically, it's hard to see how Cameron Diaz destroyed Criss Angel's marriage if she met him a year after his marriage ended, so we're willing to let her off the hook for that. But, really Cameron, four dates? Four? With Criss Angel? Really? Have you seen him? He looks like an extra from Cocoon: The Self-Harm Years, for Christ's sake. 

Read more:

Cam Denies Affair - Sky