Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden: A Match Made in Random

random

When it comes to the world of celebrity couples, I guess that nothing really seems random to me anymore. After Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes got married everything was sort of like “Whatever”, but, I have to say, I didn’t see the pairing of Benji Madden and Cameron Diaz coming.

Cam has dated guys like Justin Timberlake and Jared Leto. Benji has dated Paris Hilton. I think it’s pretty safe to say that one of them is upgrading while the other is downgrading (and I shouldn’t have to point out who is doing what).

Cameron is pretty good friends with Nicole Richie, who is married to Benji’s twin brother, so it makes sense that maybe one of Nicole’s friends would hook up with her husband’s twin brother again. I say again because remember when he dated Paris Hilton? Ewwwwwww. Friends don’t let friends date Paris Hilton!

Anyway, The 41-year-old Diaz and 35-year-old Madden, according to sources (because there is always a maid willing to sell you out), have been spending a lot of time at Diaz’s house and that Diaz likes Madden because:

He is the nicest guy and treats her like a lady.

I don’t know if I believe this source, because I can’t imagine that Cameron Diaz likes being treated like a lady, you know? But maybe I’m biased because I could never date a guy named Benji. In junior high, I was friends with this guy who had an adorable little dog named Benji who would follow me all around their house and I loved him. Then, in winter 2001, we had a lot of snow, and the giant dog next door got over the fence and ATE Benji! He ATE him! Needless to say, that name brings back some traumatic memories for me. RIP Sweet Benji.

gross

Well, you know, these two have been friends for years, even when he was kind of fat and gross and had everything imaginable pierced and wore a fuck ton of eyeliner, and back when she thought it would be a good idea to make that “Knight and Day” movie with Tom Cruise, so clearly they can handle each other at their worst, so maybe this shit will work out and be great!

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Comments

  1. Phooey says

    She’s desperate because she is way over the hill. She has also been rode very hard by the herd and put up wet.