Calvin Harris Loses Second Album. World Rejoices.
April 4th, 2008 at 14:00 by Callum de Caestecker
Calvin Harris may be a lot of things but a good musician slash DJ is not one of them.
So it comes as very good slash nice news that, on route to the UK from the US, baggage handlers lost the baggage that happened to contain a laptop on which the only copy of his second album was stored.
If God existed we would thank him right now.
The talent disabled Scot, unavailable for comment, is presumably able to console himself in the fact that he gets “all of the girls”, like some sort of spasdic Casanova . He’s not picky or anything, even Katona could be in with a shout. A spokesman for Columbia said:
"It's a big cause for concern - months of work have gone into that. The airport has offered £750 in compensation. You can't really put a price on something like a new record."
You can’t put a price on something like a new record? Well, yes, spokesman for Columbia, if the album were Revolver or Highway 61 Revisited then it wouldn’t be at all possible. But when the album in question concerns the mind and musings of one Calvin Harris then, yes, yes you can. About £0. And we’d haggle for minus numbers.
He’ll probably get to work on a new one sometime soon though so don’t get your hopes up, readers. Console yourselves in the fact that it’ll probably take a year or so. Hopefully. It is quite possible that Calvin will squeeze some sort of disgusting shit from his mouth and fingers by the time summer reaches us. Just in time for Edith Bowman, a woman who is slightly less useful than a TV listing for E4+1, to shout “Amayzin’,” “Choone!” and, “Random!!!” at.
Read more:
Calvin Harris Loses Master Tape Of Second Album - Angry Ape
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April 4th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Heh @ the Bowman comment.
Why DID they separate her and Colin Murray?
April 4th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Callum de Caestecker i sincerely hope thats your real name. its awesome!!!
April 11th, 2008 at 1:23 am
Where you you get off saying “It is quite possible that Calvin will squeeze some sort of disgusting shit from his mouth and fingers by the time summer reaches us.”
You, Callum, must be extraordinarily sad and hateful to make such rude comments about anyone.
I hope someday you lighten up and stop hating people who don’t deserve it that you have never met. Go help someone instead of trying to hurt them.