Buy Carmen Electra!
Then buzz it up
May 6th, 2005 at 16:30 by Stuart Heritage
Calling all hideously arrogant wealthy American young men aged between 15-20! Do you want to go on 
a date with Carmen Electra (DVDs)? You know, the woman with the big boobies who’s in the magazines your big brother hides under his mattress.
Ebay are currently auctioning a date with the married model turned minor filmstar, with all proceeds going to the American National Prostate Cancer Coalition. Whoever wins the date will get transport to Los Angeles and hotel accomodation. Not a room for you and Carmen to share, though. As soon as the date is over, she probably won’t even care if you live or die.
The auction is only open to American residents, so us poor non-Americans will have to wait until there’s a auction for half an hour of sweaty drunken fumbling in a pub toilet with someone who was an extra in Hollyoaks once.
But if you do fall into the correct nationality and age-range, head over to Ebay right now. There’s only one day left. Be warned, though: the current bidding price stands at a staggering $20,000.
For that sort of money, hecklerspray is considering dressing up like a girl and auctioning ourselves as a date. We’re all very pretty, you know.
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May 6th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
This is a great idea for a fundraiser. CE gets to tap the wealthy, yet horny and single market for charity. She loses nothing, seeing as she doesn’t seem to have any pride anyway, and plenty of money will be raised for prostate cancer. That just leaves some poor schlub with the tab and an evening of memories to which he can beat off.