Buy Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Coffin

Arnold Schwarzenegger (DVDs/Books) is the most bananas man in the world. He burns his kids’ clothes! He wants to destroy the moon to stop women "bitching and whining"! He’s the Governor of California!

Face it, everyone wants to live like Arnold. But we can’t. And we can’t live like his movie characters either, going around killing people by spearing them with pipes or dropping them off cliffs willy-nilly; or coming out with spontaneous one-liners like "Milk is for babies. Men drink beer" or "Fuck you, asshole". But we can die like him. To some extent.

In Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, there was a particularly mental scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger killed a load of people with a coffin on his shoulder. The coffin got a few bullet-holes in it, but it got through OK. And guess what? You can now buy that very same coffin on eBay!

That means that in theory, if you’re willing to part with $3,500 before Saturday morning, you can be buried in the bullet-riddled coffin Arnold Schwarzenegger protected his face with in a film once. It comes with a certificate of authenticity and everything!

You have to arrange your own shipping for this, or go to LA to pick it up, but that shouldn’t stop you.

If you buy it, don’t forget to let us know. We want to come round and lie in it for a bit.

Remember, in the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, "I live to see you eat that contract… but I hope you save enough room for my FIST because I’m going to ram it into your GOD DAMN stomach and break your GOD DAMN SPINE!"

Buy Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Coffin From eBay RIGHT NOW!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Offends The World Again