Irony is ironic. At the very moment Bryan Adams allows his tea cup to gash open Lindsay Lohan’s leg, forcing the wee actress to return to the hospital for a quick patching – and later probably get the words Don’t Cut Yourself’ tattooed on her other wrist – he’s also trying his hardest to save millions of Pakistanis.

On the one side you have Adams representing partial salvation to a broken society trying to repair itself, on the other he is unwittingly loosing unbearable torment on a freshly showered tot of a celebrity. 

Brothers and sisters, again we say unto you, irony is ironic.

It’s not easy being Bryan Adams (CDs). Not only do you have to remember
to spell your first name with a ‘Y’ instead of an ‘I’ smack dab in the
middle, you also have to rebuild schools to the tune of (Everything I Do) I Do It For You. That one doesn’t really make you want to swing a
hammer now does it?

Adams headlined a benefit concert for the victims of the major
earthquake that killed 87,000 people, and left 3.5 million people
homeless just last year. Regarding the concert Adams gushed:

“The
whole idea of coming to Pakistan is very exciting on many levels, it’s
exciting because I know we are the first western artists to come and
play a big concert here… We’re going to raise a
lot of money to hopefully help rebuild some schools in the areas that
have been devastated.”

hecklerspray, being torn between really wanting to poke fun at Adams
and his extremely sappy lovers-music, and having a deep respect for his
trying to spread the good word that is education, is deeply confused.

On the one hand he wrote a song called The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You. On the other hand, he’s bringing hope to a people
who are still down from losing so many loved ones.

On the one hand he recorded a song with silicone-enhanced chicken
defender Pam Anderson, and seems to genuinely hope it finds it’s
niche  On the other hand he’s getting books for kids that so direly
need them.

So morally confused is hecklerspray at this particular juncture,
that we’re not sure if we can make snide remarks like, "In Pakistan
they are so unfamiliar with western culture they think Bryan Adams is
the new Arctic Monkeys", or "Adams is so good at disappearing for
half-decades at a time that while he’s over there he should intuitively
find Bin Laden".

No, it’s probably best if hecklerspray leaves his good deed at just
that. Know, though, that we do so sweating profusely, with our fingers
trembling mere molecules above the keyboard, and tears welling in our
eyes for extreme want of typing something rude, crass, or utterly
nut-tastic.

Read more:

Bryan Adams rocks Pakistan – Canada.com 

[story by Shawn Lindseth]