The MTV Movie Awards are fertile ground for hecklerspray-baiting tosh to do the rounds, though sometimes it is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel. From extreme close range. With a bazooka.
Nevertheless, the tween ceremony which has produced an average of one genuine laugh per every three years – not a bad statistic – has a new notch on the bedpost where they can proudly boast ‘we made a website that doesn’t like Robert Pattison laugh. A bit’.
Why? Well: Sacha Baron Cohen‘s gay Austrian fashion journalist creation, Bruno, landed half-naked in the lap of Marshall Mathers‘ gay-disliking American irritant/rapper, Eminem.
That’s a lot of bold.
While Americans are still to get really used to the fact that Cohen isn’t actually any of the men he claims to be, hard as it is to believe, the British have had his antics for a decade now and really aren’t too shocked any more with anything he does.
Which also means there isn’t any shock that events like this are staged. Because it’s an MTV event. They are actually an evil corporation and they want to stay on the good side of artists (using the term in a fashion so loose it simply doesn’t hold itself up without a belt).
What this means is that no, they probably didn’t spring this on Eminem. All the speculation that came after the event, which saw everyone’s favourite rappist teabagged by a genuinely funny man, was unnecessary.
The ‘revelation’ by Perez Hilton that he hears it was set up? Unnecessary.
The speculation on countless blogs and traditional news sites the world over as to the ballsack-to-face and how genuine it was? Unnecessary.
The posting of a story decrying all these people as fools on a reasonably popular, award-winning celebrity news blog? Unne… oh no, wait – necessary.
Hopefully our cutting wit and cynical take on the situation will force Baron Cohen to take things to the a new level for his next stunt – he can be a new David Blaine. Except with discernible talent, a personality and the ultimate saving grace of not being a massive prick.
But what could the new street magician of comedy do? Yes, as we’re so smart (and have run out of things to say), here’s a list:
1. Stage a coup at the next ‘youth’ award ceremony he is invited to, taking over from the main hosts and declaring the show as his own. This could possibly involve murder, cutlasses and Mark Thatcher, depending on how far Cohen wants to take it.
2. Take the humiliation of a popular celebrity angle up a notch by kidnapping one – say, Robert Pattison – keeping him locked in a cellar and frequently abusing and humiliating him over a period of months or years. He could even record it, if he’s feeling particularly fruity.
3. Destroy MTV, thus bringing about the end of the disgusting corporation and finally bringing about the fall of their dominion over the music you people listen to. This would thusly pave the way for a better society where people actually listen to good music. And not the fucking Jonas Brothers. In 3D.
This will probably be taken down by the time you see this, but still try and do a watch of Eminem getting teabagged by Bruno here.
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KING777TUT says
Yeah. mnm was in on it. he loves ass in his face
hecklerlame says
You’re a douche bag. You’re not funny. And that whole “Oh look at those petty simpletons down there laughing at unfunny stuff that we’ve all had here in Tea and Crumpets land for years.” makes you look like a pompous nobody desperately searching for an audience.
Dblock says
You like balls on your face ballgazer. It was very disrespectful they wouldn’t do that to jay z than why do it to em, deamn homos I didn’t find it funny
Hooter says
The Naked and the Dread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eminem Meets Bruno “CHEEK to CHEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn M&M got “teabag” during prime time hour on TV….. He is now known in the Gangsta world as ” Mr. Lipton”
Shooty* says
No! Not “disrespek”, surely? The world’s gravest insult and most heinous crime?
Quick, let’s pop a cap in someone’s ass, bizzle.
Dblock: you’re missing the point: Eminem GAVE PERMISSION. And that’s coz it’s in keeping with his image and sense of humour. They wouldn’t do it to JayZ coz it’s not his cup of tea, so to speak.
Do try and keep up, there’s a good fellow.
Shooty* says
Oh, fuck me, not the whole “douche bag” thing again as well.
Oh, how I long for the days of a good old Rhianna inspired fan post.
mollie says
eminem sucks. my retarded cousin makes better music with a casio keyboard and finger symbols. all he can sing is “hi, my name id, my name id, my name id…mawbin gwadey.” he should be famous.
mollie says
hey dblock, are you proud youve been to prison?