Bruce Willis Asks Stranger For Sex

According to Middle England bilefest The Daily Mail, baldy vest-merchant Bruce Willis has developed something of an ‘interesting’ streak with the ladies.

Hanging around with his pals in the New York Roosevelt Hotel, Bruce apparently began discussing killer chat-up lines. Ignoring the more obvious approach - "I am Bruce Willis and therefore have a lot of money" - the erstwhile Mr. Die Hard decided to work on a more… carnal level.

Hence his reported turning to a nearby young lady and asking "What are your plans for sex tonight?"

The young lady in question - evidently not from the Jodie Marsh school of seduction - stormed away in righteous disgust. Leaving Bruce Willis (DVDs) all on his own - that depressing ‘rejected’ sensation that carries the same crippling and emotionally-destructive streak as listening to Razoright.

Bruce’s lawyer Marty Singer - was there ever a more lawyerish name? - has immediately leapt to his client’s defence, lightening the load by explaining that  "Bruce was joking around with some friends and talking about pick-up lines. The friend said the line and Bruce may have repeated it - but he was not trying to pick up the woman."

Typical. It’s fine for a Hollywood star to try that sort of thing, but whenever hecklerspray suggests a quick spot of dogging outside the local Wetherspoons? It’s restraining orders all the way…

[story by C J Davies]