Hands in the air if you hate Brooklyn Decker!! At a mere 25 years old, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue covergirl, Victoria’s Secret model,?feature film actress (really terrible, but whatever), and wife of hunky tennis superstar Andy Roddick, has been deemed one of the 100 Hottest Women of All Time by Men’s Health Magazine, as well as Esquire Magazine?s 2010 Sexiest Woman Alive.
Brooklyn claims to be outdoorsy, loves camping, and hates showing off her body (which is total bullshit). She also probably eats cheesecake for breakfast, never works out, and has multiple orgasms in?the missionary position.
While I deeply hate her, I have to admit that Brooklyn is a truly beautiful woman and actually seems pretty okay. And lest you even suspect otherwise, Brooklyn Decker without makeup is?absolutely gorgeous.
She’s so distraught in the first photo of her with no makeup?that it breaks my heart. Just tossin’ the football around, drinking some lemonade, looking hot in?her bedazzled plaid shirt. Her face looks perfect without makeup. She’s young enough to pull it off and still look ridiculously beautiful.
I’m including the next photo purely because I have an evil heart. She’s cheering for her husband, thinking about him and not about her appearance, which is really really sweet. And she looks pretty terrible. The weird lighting?makes her look strangely old and? her hair?looks?awful. It’s a fluke, she’s one of the hottest women of all time, but it does make grizzled old bitches like me feel a bit better, if only temporarily.