The bromance between Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick is no more.
Theirs is the brotherly romance that never was. Yet they still started a million and one too obvious for words blind items. The pair have been in their cosy little non-love nest since 2007. In the early days of Gossip Girl they thought pooling together their assorted flat irons, gels and tubes of lube would be more cost-effective than each having their own crap.
You will all remember the early days of Gossip Girl and the terrible Brylcreem drought of 2007. Right? That was a time when lots of young, straight males who were in danger of running out of hair products thought it best to shack up together rather than risk being forced to live a life devoid of coiffing.
Well, it was around this time that fingers were being worn to the bone, concocting uninspired blind items about how the only thing these two were allegedly pooling was saliva. For the record, I for one don’t think they have been banging in plain view of the world’s media for two years. I totally buy Chace’s assertion that he was sick of living with ‘slob’, Ed. Messy eaters and people who refuse to sleep in the wet spot are the worst. Bitches.
After all, there are only so many empty packets of condoms and so many panties down the back of the couch that one straight guy can take. Better for Chace to branch out and start slutting it up in his own place, rather than cleaning up after his partner in crime all the time.
Despite the rumours of a break-up of sorts, there are no rumours of animosity. A source told US Weekly:
Gossip Girl?s Chace Crawford has moved out of the NYC apartment he shares with costar Ed Westwick. The two have shared the apartment in the Chelsea neighborhood since they both first moved to the city after being cast in the hit CW series. The source says Crawford ? who will star in the upcoming reboot of Footloose ? moved out on Monday and into a rented penthouse apartment in the luxe Dwell 95 building in NYC?s Financial District. The reason for Crawford?s change of scenery? Apparently, Westwick is a slob, and Crawford couldn't take the mess any longer, a source tells Us.
There. That’s That. Well, almost.
This shocking news comes in the same week as ‘the end of man bangs’ was declared. Pretty sure that phrase translates as well as the word ‘fag’, so you should know that ‘man bangs’ refers to the ridiculous floppy hairstyle previously sported by Chace and his identical eyebrow twin, Zac Efron.
Not sure how much more heartache their delusional fan-base can take. Slightly effeminate pretty-boys with under-developed torsos, cutting their hair and not generating homoerotic blind items, it’s enough to start legions of newly potty-trained fans wetting the bed again. We need to rally round and declare “guyliner” sacred, before that dies out too. Else the world will once again risk drowning in adolescent pee!
This was a guest blog by Amy Grindhouse, who has her own website and everything.