Britney Spears Wants To Check Her Kids For Drugs

Thought that Britney Spears' 16-year-old sister getting knocked up was as bad as it got for the family? Not even close - Britney Spears now apparently thinks her two baby sons have been taking drugs.

Well, sort of - Britney Spears has decided to turn on the attack in her child custody battle with Kevin Federline by apparently claiming that he smokes pot in front of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and that as a result they're breathing in all his second-hand drug-smoke. It's thought that Britney Spears was alerted to this possibility by the way that her kids sitting around staring into space and giggling all day. However this might not mean that the Federline-Spears kids are stoned - it might just mean that they're either a) children or b) genetically very stupid. Really, the truth is that it could be any of these things.

The custody battle between Britney Spears and Kevin Federline has now got so dull that we were starting to think that not even Britney or Kevin cared too much about it any more. It's all 'disposition' this and 'court-appointed' that and parenting coaches and moderate custody decisions. And that's boring - why can't someone just shout about pigs like in all the best custody cases, that's what we want to know.

The reason that the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight has been so dull is because Britney Spears has always been on the defensive, batting away claims that she's a terrible mother and drug addict and an idiotic driver and a moron. Completely one-sided. Especially when the accuser is Kevin Federline, for Christ's sake.

But not any more, because rumour has it that Britney Spears is going to start chasing Kevin Federline now, which is fair enough since she does pay for his lawyers and all. Why? Because her kids always come back from K-Fed's stinking like a drug factory, that's why.

Britney Spears apparently wants to get Sean Preston and Jayden James tested for drugs, because she's concerned that Kevin Federline smokes pot in front of them and that they're breathing it in second hand. According to a source:

"Britney believes Kevin’s been smoking pot in front of the kids. She says she can smell it in the boys’ hair and on their clothes when she has her visitation with them."

So, if these reports are true, Britney now has to snip some of Sean Preston and Jayden James' hair and send it away for testing. Second-hand marijuana smoke would quickly show up in these tests, and would be a strong case for Kevin Federline to lose custody.

And then things would get really interesting, because the court commissioner overseeing the custody battle would have to decide whether to give the children to Britney Spears - a woman who isn't even allowed to get in a car with her children any more - or Kevin Federline, who'll probably bloody get them hooked on crack by the time Jayden's potty-trained.

There is a third option open to the commissioner, of course. A way to make sure the children are safer than they are with either of their parents. Admittedly that option does involve wrapping them both in bacon and handing them to the world's angriest crocodile, but it seems like it's probably the best way to go at the moment.

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Britney's children 'to be tested for drugs' - Ninemsn