There’s no bond stronger than that between a deranged singer and the man who mashes drugs into her food.

And that’s why Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi were so special together. Sam was always there for Britney with whatever she needed – pink wigs, empty knicker draws, some anti-psychotic drugs mashed into a pork chop – but things have gone sour.

Sam Lutfi has sued Britney Spears for defamation – a warning that people can’t just slander him without consequence. However, we’ve checked it out and we think we can still call Sam Lutfi a ‘crappy-bearded bellend’ without any trouble. So that’s good.

Think whatever you like about Britney Spears’ former manager, but history will judge him as something approximating a towering genius. We’re being completely serious here. Look at Britney Spears before her psychiatric problems – a doe-eyed virginal starlet with a pube-headed boyband singer. And look at Britney Spears after the problems – a robotic, coldly-professional singer careful never to do or say anything offensive. Boring.

But Britney Spears during her psychiatric problems? Why, them were golden times. And it all happened on Sam Lutfi’s watch, too. That means that Sam Lutfi had a hand in Britney’s most iconic moments – the bald head, the smearing dogshit on herself during a magazine photoshoot, the non-promotion of her Blackout album, the wig, the wildly and obviously inappropriate paparazzi boyfriend, the roadside sobbing, the relentless clodge-baring – and he just hasn’t been given the respect he deserves for that.

And that’s why Sam Lutfi is suing Britney Spears.

Well, no, actually Sam Lutfi is suing Britney Spears and her family for defamation and breach of contract because a) Britney Spears and her parents just took a restraining order out against him and b) he seems like such a vastly irresponsible fraction of a man that his name is now a global joke and nobody wants to give him a job.

Oh, and c) because Britney Spears apparently once sent him a text message saying that he was her manager and that he’d get 15% of her earnings for the next four years, as People reports:

Lutfi claims he and Britney had an oral agreement that he would be compensated 15 percent of her earnings as her manager. Lutfi alleges that the agreement was confirmed in a text message on Oct. 13, 2007 in which the singer wrote: “sam, so thats fine, i want you to be my manager, you were right its 15 percent of my money but for 4 years not 5.” Lutfi claims that he hasn’t received any payment for his alleged services.

We’d imagine that a lot of the lawsuit hinges on the veracity of that text message. And we’re no experts, but it seems unclear who really sent it. On one hand, the grammar’s all over the place, which suggests that Britney Spears really did send it; and on the other hand all the words are spelt correctly, which we’d guess means that it’s either a fake or Britney got one of her infant sons to write it for her or something.

Anyway, we hope that this matter resolves itself peacefully, and that Sam Lutfi can get back to managing popstars again. By the way, if we were him we’d totally be gunning for Lady GaGa first. She looks like a singer he can properly bugger up.

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