Britney Spears’ Sister Totally Pregnant At 16
December 19th, 2007 at 13:00 by Stuart Heritage
You have to hand it to Jamie Lynn Spears - not many 16-year-old girls would try and take the heat off their messed-up older sisters by getting themselves pregnant at a ridiculously young age.
But that's just the kind of socially-conscientious girl Jamie Lynn Spears is. Now that her older sister Britney Spears is being heralded by many as the world's most famous bad mother, Jamie Lynn wants to have a go, too - so she's announced to the world via OK! magazine that she's 12 weeks pregnant with a baby fathered by her long-term boyfriend Casey Aldridge. News of Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy might seem like the Spears family has now reached critical mass when it comes to sexual irresponsibility, but you haven't seen anything yet - the cover of next week's Us Weekly consists of a close-up photo of baby Sean Preston's face alongside the quote "Dude! I Totally Knocked Up 15 Thai Sluts Last Week!"
Remember when we told you that Britney Spears' mother was writing a parenting guide? Well, our advice to you would be don't buy it. Don't even look at it. In fact, don't even think about the Spears family parenting guide, because we're starting to get the impression that if the thought of it even creeps into your mind for even a second, then all your children will instantly get pregnant regardless of their age, fertility or gender. Either that or they'll become petty shoplifters. Either way, it's nothing to brag to your friends about at the bus stop.
Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16-year-old sister of everyone's favourite befuddlingly clueless vagina model Britney Spears, has announced to the world that she's pregnant. And before she's even a high school senior, too! See, Hannah Montana? That's how you do teenage pregnancies right.
Anyway - details. Apparently, according to the screaming front cover of OK! magazine, Jamie Lynn Spears is 12 weeks pregnant and the father is long-term church-met boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Jamie Lynn Spears decided to tell her mother that she was pregnant at Thanksgiving, something that went down about as well as could be expected:
"I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me. [Mom] was very upset because it wasn't what she expected at all. A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive… I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait. But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."
Hilariously, it looks as if Jamie Lynn Spears hadn't bothered to inform Britney Spears that she was pregnant. Last night she was still screaming at reporters that her sister wasn't pregnant, even though newsstands were full of pictures of Jamie Lynn saying that was at exactly the same time.
However, we're sure that once she's spoken to Jamie Lynn, Britney will do everything she can to help her little sister through the transition into motherhood. Britney is a world expert on how to drive children around dangerously and a foremost authority on the best way to spook your kids by farting, crying and babbling in a made-up language at them, remember. That sort of stuff is invaluable.
So Jamie Lynn Spears is happy that she's pregnant, her mother is happy that she's pregnant, Britney Spears will be happy that she's pregnant as soon as she finds out and Casey Aldridge is so happy that he's probably trying to start a new life in Mexico under an assumed identity as we speak - but what about Nickelodeon? Jamie Lynn Spears is the star of the network's show Zoey 101, and it's bound to be a headache to have a teen sitcom star suddenly swelling up like an infected wound in front of a confused audience of children. But here's Nickelodeon's take on the pregnancy:
"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."
"Well, that and trying to work out how we can sack her and replace her with a sterilised 13-year-old lookalike," the company added under its breath when nobody was listening.
So what now for Jamie Lynn Spears. Having a child means that all her free time will be spent raising it, which puts her professional life in jeopardy. Oh, who are we kidding - she'll be signed up to High School Musical 3 by the end of the day.
Read more:
Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney's Sister, Is Pregnant - MTV
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December 19th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Perhaps this is what is meant by ‘genetic warfare’?
December 20th, 2007 at 3:33 am
I think it is so discusting that sombody could do this at 16 years old i mean seariously where is their mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 20th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
I know what you mean, Olivia. I mean, 16 is leaving it a bit late in this day and age… who knows what kind of risks she could be exposing herself or the baby to?
December 21st, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Their mother, Olivia, was busy putting the finishing touches on her book about Good Parenting (really). Tragically, the publisher has had severe second thoughts about it and the book has been put on hold. A looooong hold….
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:00 pm
There wrong with her being knocked up at an early age and for one she’s not the first girl to ever get knocked and everyone don’t always end up with the perfect babydaddy. She shouldn’t be judged cause she got pregnant at an age thats wrong and everybody know thats not right so leave alone stop with all the airing of her bussiness ain’t it enough that u keep her sister dirty lanudary all over the place she not the first and she’s surelt not going to be the last 16 year old to get pregnant. The reason its nothing is she not the first one to get pregnant at 16 so stop making it seem like she just bad news ccause she can’t influence nothing that have already been going on there a lot of 16 year old mothers out there and some younger than that. So leave her alone about she haven’t done anything no different from anyother 16 year old or for a matter of fact how about some of you that sit up talking about her what age where u when you had your baby? Plus someone in your family had a baby at an early age is anyone talking about that? She’s pregnant now and it shouldn’t matter to anyone but her and if she’s keeping her baby than that good cause it her and she love it no matter what thats all that matter is what she thinks not you. I think I have made my point leave her alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 3rd, 2008 at 8:30 pm
People need to just leave her alone. I’m sure she’s scared to death and feeling pretty crappy about this and the media is just making it worse.
January 5th, 2008 at 12:49 am
hahah lame ass!! sluty ass family they are! especially britney, jamie just looks up to her!
January 18th, 2008 at 3:52 am
I LOVE JAMIE LYNN SPEARS SHE MEANS ALOT TO ME SHE SO SPECIAL TO ME i love her and her sis!!!!
March 25th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
ew
March 27th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
poopy on jamie lynn spears
eat my dust people of earth
we are the aleins of the planet jobellisa
i read about chuck norris and i think he is cool!
March 28th, 2008 at 3:53 am
the 12 yr olds are out in fucking force tonight
April 29th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Jamie lynn is 16 not 6. She’s old enough to make her own desicions in life and she can only learn from her sisters mistakes. Britney has been through a rough time just like most of us but the difference is, shes got the media twisting things and the photographers following her everywere. She has no time for her self to recover so people should just give her a break.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
“Jamie lynn is 16 not 6. She’s old enough to make her own desicions in life”
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
somebody just turned 16 and knows it all