And, if you see notorious LA gangs the Crips and the Bloods as the city's neighbourhood watch brigade, you'll understand that they'd want to do something about this Britney Spears menace.
Which they are. Admittedly they're reportedly doing it by sending gang members into paparazzi scrums to scare the photographers into leaving Britney Spears alone. That's both distasteful and immoral, but anything that stops us from having to look at photos of Britney Spears' mouldy old bajingo any more is alright in our books.
You may have noticed that, since Britney Spears left her mental hospital last week, it's been all quiet on the Britney front.
But why is this? Is it because Britney Spears' father is doing a sterling job of keeping her daughter protected from the limelight while she recovers from her illnesses? No. Is it because the paparazzi heard that sometimes they make Sienna Miller feel sad and hung up their cameras in a fit of self-loathing? No.
Apparently members of the paparazzi have stopped chasing Britney Spears around because they think the Crips and Bloods will kill them all.
Some photo agencies are suggesting that their rivals are so desperate to get a lucrative perfect shot of Britney Spears looking all crazy that they've hired Crips and Bloods to pose as photographers in paparazzi scrums and generally rough up everyone else. According to the New York Daily News:
The legion of lensmen has been infiltrated by L.A. gang members — Crips and Bloods, according to some photo-agency heads. They claim rival agencies are arming the thugs with cameras and sending them out to do battle with the dozens of paps who rubberneck around Hollywood's favorite train wreck. All of the agency heads we interviewed said they do not hire street toughs. "They may dress like gang members with large pants and tattoos, but to say they're gang members right now, well, real gang members are not into Britney Spears," said Frank Navarre, a Frenchman who owns the X17 agency. "I think red carpet is worse. I used to do red carpet myself, and one guy broke my camera."
But, despite the protestations of the agency heads, let's just say that Crips and Bloods are being sent to disrupt the paparazzi coverage of Britney Spears – the implications of that are frightening.
Not for Britney Spears – she can do what she likes – but what will happen if some of these rival gang members develop a taste for photography? There'll be a bloodbath in Los Angeles, that's what'll happen. It'll be like the LA riots, only with more attention to composition and aperture size. Horrific.