Regaining custody is fourth on Britney Spears' agenda right now, after finding her marbles, tightening her screws and trying to keep out of the booby hatch.

However, if Britney Spears is serious about clawing at least some semblance of custody back after her recent episode, she should probably listen to the advice telling her to show up to a court hearing today. Britney Spears has been warned that this could be her last chance at gaining visitation rights.

However, Britney Spears is so unlikely to show her face in court today that we'll get our arses out on the internet if she does.*

What with the not-especially naked Britney Spears pictures and the probably non-existent Britney Spears sex tape, there's a strong chance that you're too busy hurling up in a wastepaper basket to care about the ongoing slow-motion car crash that is Britney Spears' custody battle. 

And, look, we know that you probably weren't even that interested in the Britney Spears custody battle in the first place, ever since it locked into a spiral of Kevin Federline calling emergency hearings every time Britney Spears so much as sneezed in front of her kids and then Britney Spears never showing up for anything anyway.

But, handily it looks like we might be entering some kind of endgame. Well, handily for us at least – probably not so much for Britney Spears, who looks set to lose her kids for months unless she attends a court hearing later today. The hearing, understandably, is set to deal with the events 11 days ago that ended up with Britney Spears being wheeled off to hospital for brain tests. And family lawyer Scott Weston – who isn't involved in the case – has told People just how important it is for Britney to show:

"Britney needs to be there because it's much easier to defend your client if he/she is present to refute what witnesses say. Whether she takes the stand or not depends on what witnesses say, and whether or not her lawyers think her testimony may backfire. But they've got nowhere to go but up at this point. Also, if she doesn't attend, it shows a lack of interest on her part in getting back her kids." 

If Britney Spears doesn't attend the hearing – which, let's face it, looks likely – then she'll lose her chance to argue for visitation rights and it'll be easier for the judge to just ban Britney from seeing the kids until April, which is when their actual custody trial begins. 

And that won't just be hard on Britney Spears – we'd imagine you could just draw faces on a couple of pillows and she wouldn't notice the difference – but it'll be little Sean Preston and Jayden James who'll be worst affected. Kids needs constants in their lives; be it a loving parent, a group of peers or a mental, swearing, Prozac-spazzed topless woman who regularly locks herself in the bathroom with them. That's just common sense.

*No we won't. That's not fair on anybody. 

Read more:

Britney 'Strongly Advised' by Lawyers to Attend Hearing - People