We’ve got some good news and some bad news for you. The bad news is that this is the dullest Britney Spears story in the world.
Britney Spears is moving house. That’s roughly it. She lived somewhere, soon she’ll be living somewhere else and that’s it. On a Twitter post, Britney Spears claimed that she’d shown her kids around the new house and they apparently love it. This is the bad news.
The good news is that Britney Spears decided to sell her old home at the height of this economic crisis. We assume that means Britney Spears is still slightly mental. Win.
Traditionally Britney Spears likes to make a dent in the year as early as she can – last January she ended up being sectioned and the January before she ended up collapsing in a nightclub – but 2009 seems to starting with a bit of a damp squib as far as Britney Spears is concerned.
Where once there were stories of froth-mouthed tantrums and confusing baldness, now there are only stories about property investment. What’s more, they’re stories about property investment told in less than 140 characters, because Britney Spears has been talking about her new home on Twitter. OK! reports:
The luxury pad, reportedly worth ?4million, is said to have a marble and glass mosaic pool, a cinema and a rose garden. And it’s a hit with sons Jayden James, 2, and Sean Preston, 3. ‘I just took my babies to our new home, and they loved it!,’ Britney writes on blogging site Twitter. ‘I can’t wait to move in.’
Interestingly, it’s thought that Britney Spears is only renting her new home while she builds a purpose-built mansion elsewhere. That’s actually not a bad idea, because a home that’s been specially designed would be able to house everything that Britney Spears needs – like a pool, a large playroom for her children, a dance studio, maybe some recording facilities, a padded room with a tethered bed in it in case Britney has another incident, a big cage for her father to keep her in all the time she isn’t touring or recording an album. That sort of thing.
But anyway, as enthralling as it is to hear about how Britney Spears is moving house, the important thing is that she’s now directly communicating with her fans via Twitter rather than, say, flapping her vagina around at them or relentlessly bullshitting on her website.
So let’s hope Britney Spears keeps this up – next thing you know she’ll be telling us about her curtains or the type of mustard she prefers the most. That’s as good as rubbing dogmuck on her dress and locking her own children in a bathroom, isn’t it? We literally can’t wait.