Britney Spears released her Hold It Against Me music video last week and surprised no one when it contained more product placements that choreography.
The dance moves were so lacking and lackluster that the sad/ glassy-eyed Britney’s two-stepping had to be disguised with obnoxiously-fast editing.
The entire introduction of the video was nothing but the singer holding a number of products right up to the lens. With Britney presumably being muted so we couldn’t hear, ‘Can you see it? Make sure the brand names don’t go all blurry.’
There were mixed reactions to the video. Her most loyal fans seemed to blindly like it, which they would. However, former fans and people who thought MTV played music videos, didn’t like it so much.
When asked why, people were unable to answer while distracted watching their Sony televisions bought at low, low prices, and spraying perfume, applying bland make-up, and Googling to check Plenty Of Fish was not some weird fetish website for people who liked cosplay that required hosepipes and Finding Nemo costumes.
What’s surprising is that Britney can still sell product.
Pop Eater helpfully lists the brand names and some of the instances they’re shown:
0:39 ? Britney is handed a bottle of perfume, which she sprays on herself, followed by a close-up shot of Radiance logo
0:47 ? Make Up Forever eyeshadow appears in shot, followed by a shot in which Britney applies the eyeshadow
1:27 ? First shot of Plenty of Fish screen
1:30 ? Britney clicks on Plenty of Fish logo
1:32 ? Britney clicks on Plenty of Fish logo again
1:34 ? Shot of Sony logo
1:35 ? Plenty of Fish logo appears prominently in shot
1:36 ? Shot of Plenty of Fish profile page
2:40 ? Close shot of Sony logo
2:41 – Shot of Britney performing on Sony TV
The dating website, which looked more like a badly-designed offshoot of the Men Seeking Men section of Craig’s List when featured in Lady Gaga’s Telephone video, saw a 20% rise in traffic after the video’s Friday release.
For her services to product prostitution, Britney made? $500,000. This money will be divided equally between the person who glued in the three pieces of hay that passed for her weave and ‘Second Britney’, the girl she’s fighting in the video.
From TMZ:
Spears netted a cool $500,000 for various product placements in her “Hold It Against Me” video.? We’re told the dating site Plentyoffish.com, one of several companies featured in the vid, forked over six figures to feature their site on Brit’s computer during the vid and saw immediate results … a 20% spike in traffic the day after the video premiered.
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse who accepted numerous bribes from various companies to write this fantastic article that you, dear reader, don’t deserve.
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