In times of sadness, there are always silver linings to grab hold of; so Britney Spears and Kevin Federline shouldn't think they've gained a divorce this week, but lost either a gold-digging cornrowed redneck or a poo-covered mental magazine model.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have finally got officially divorced from one another, ending one of the most unsightly marriages in pop history. There were several sticking points in the Britney Spears / Kevin Federline divorce procedure, namely that the couple's children would have the best possible care. Sadly though, that part of the divorce didn't work out as well as was expected, since babies Sean Preston and Jayden James will still have Britney Spears and Kevin Federline as parents.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline were the Romeo and Juliet of badly thought-out, possibly cash-motivated celebrity marriages, only without Romeo and Juliet's perky tone and, sadly, the death scene at the end. But just because watching Britney Spears' marriage to Kevin Federline was like watching a tank run over a goose's neck in slow motion it doesn't mean that we should forget how efficient they were as a couple.
Maybe we've got rose-coloured glasses on here, but there was something sweet about the way that Kevin Federline would knock Britney Spears up with mistakes all the time, or the way that Britney Spears wrote some of her most incomprehensible verses about Kevin Federline, or the godawful TV show they made together. Good times indeed, especially when you see what's happened following the Britney and Kevin split.
Although Kevin Federline seems to have plateaued with a sideline in self-deprecating TV adverts, Britney Spears has run the traditional post-divorce gauntlet of vomiting and mimsy shots and thinking she's the antichrist and mother-slapping and doing photo shoots covered in grease and shit. But now everything's going to be OK, because Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have finalised their divorce, as Forbes reports:
Britney Spears' marriage to Kevin Federline officially ended Monday. "They are divorced," the pop star's attorney, Laura Wasser, said after a Superior Court hearing. "Everything is finalized." Court Commissioner Scott Gordon signed orders for dissolution of marriage, an alimony agreement and child custody. The alimony agreement will not be made public unless there is an enforcement issue, Wasser said.
But wait – wasn't the Britney Spears / Kevin Federline divorce finalised ages ago, with Kevin either getting $1 million or $19 million in settlement money? Well, sort of – but it's thought that child custody issues stalled the proceedings. It takes time to work out if it's Britney Spears or Kevin Federline who's more staggering ill-equipped to raise two young children, you know.
But at least now Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are properly divorced there are plenty of silver linings to cling on to. For instance, Britney won't have to worry about Kevin Federline writing a tell-all, cash-in book about her like her last husband did. True, that's because Kevin Federline can't read or write or figure out why books can't fit into DVD players, but it's something at least.
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