Britney Spears Hopefully Not Stupid Enough To Get Married Again

In all the rush to tell you how Britney Spears went to party and danced with the living definition of a mid-life crisis yesterday, we forgot tell you the biggest news - Britney Spears was wearing what looked scarily like an engagement ring.

At her weekend party at the newly-opened LAX nightclub in Las Vegas, Britney Spears set tongues wagging for all sorts of reasons. Firstly, the night marked the longest period of time that Britney Spears has gone without either puking up or getting her vagina out in years, and then there was all the dancing and flirting with idiot emo magician Criss Angel - and now it turns out that Britney Spears may have been wearing an engagement ring, too. Although we're pretty sure it wasn't an engagement ring that Britney Spears was wearing, we sort of wish it was - Britney Spears doesn't really release any music when she's married to people, does she?

Britney Spears doesn't seem to have fully grasped the notion of love in our opinion. Going on her past experience, love to Britney Spears means getting to write confusing poems on the internet or splattering the inside of your guts across your boyfriend or even treating your son to a life-endangering trip down the highway. But maybe that's just because love has treated Britney Spears bad in the past. How can Britney Spears be expected to love when her husbands keep writing tell-all books about her and using her money to make really terrible hip-hop records?

Britney Spears needs to be taught how to love. Britney Spears needs to be taught how to love by a ridiculous 40-year-old magician who dresses like Mary The Punk from EastEnders who's just been through a messy divorce himself. Britney Spears needs to be taught how to love by Criss Angel. But Britney Spears probably isn't going to marry Criss Angel. Yet.

On Friday night, while Britney Spears was opening nightclubs in Vegas and dancing with Criss Angel, it was clear that she was also sporting a giant ring on her left ring finger. Could that mean… Britney Spears is engaged to be married again? To Criss Angel? Really? As Page Six reports, probably not:

Britney Spears was between a rock and a hard place in Las Vegas. The dramatic divorcée showed up at a Sin City night club grand opening party on Friday night sporting a huge diamond rock on her left ring finger - the traditional spot for engagement bands. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing," said one onlooker. "She marched in with her security guards displaying the stone to everyone - either she's about to do a Vegas wedding again and get hitched, or she's just too dim to realize where she put the ring."

Well that's the answer, then - it was nothing more than good old-fashioned stupidity on Britney's part. Probably. In actual fact, the ring stunt was probably nothing more than a feeble attempt by Britney Spears to draw attention to her new comeback single Gimme More. Which we've just done. Never mind, let's just offset the publicity by stating that Gimme More by Britney Spears isn't very good.

But, you know, in a way we're a little sad that Britney Spears won't be getting married to Criss Angel any time soon. Now that she's decided to be a pop star again, Britney needs something to zip her live performances, and Criss Angel could be just the thing. Imagine if a Britney Spears/ Criss Angel collaboration turned out even a tenth as good as this…

Read more:

Brit Rock Shock - Page Six