There are several ways to realise that Britney Spears has been in a bad way lately – one of them is to have eyes and/or ears.
Another way is to read the news today. You see, Britney Spears turned up at a charity party at Jim Carrey’s house this weekend not looking as if she’d spent the last month wide awake and screaming at the ceiling. And that’s a news story, apparently.
Of course it is – we all care about Britney Spears, so it goes without saying that everything she does should be held up as a shining example of what other mentally unwell, legally unfit mothers can be capable of with a nice dress, some expensive hair and make-up and a brief appearance at a movie star’s fancy charity party.
One of the most heartening things about 2008 has been Britney Spears’ gradual rehabilitation. It was just a few short months ago, remember, that Britney got naked and held her son hostage in a locked bathroom until the authorities came and wheeled her away to a psychiatric hospital for urgent treatment. But now everything’s just rosy.
True, Britney Spears has just lost custody of her children forever, her last CD bombed and she still can’t be trusted to spend any of her money without her father’s permission, but it’s a long hard road. With a lot of time, hard work and dedication, we might even be able to see the old Britney Spears again before long – you know, the Britney who vomited up a lot and thought she was the devil. They were golden times.
Things certainly look good for Britney Spears, because last weekend she attended a party at Jim Carrey’s house to raise funds for the child autism charity he’s so heavily involved with. What’s more, she was wearing all her clothes the right way round and didn’t once try and smash anything up with an umbrella. The Telegraph reports:
“She looked great and seemed really happy,” a guest told a US magazine at the party held at the actor Jim Carrey’s home in California. He said she kept close to her assistant and didn’t speak to other guests, but seemed happy and relaxed. “She smiled and clapped during the video about autism,” he added.
OK, so maybe Britney hasn’t completely recovered yet – smiling and clapping during a heartrending video presentation about child illness sounds like the work of a very special type of weirdo – but we can still see signs that Britney Spears is definitely getting better.
She didn’t talk to any of the other guests at the party, for example. That’s great news – Britney clearly understands that even 30 seconds of conversation with Jim Carrey when he’s being all over-exaggerated and earnest is enough to send even the most sturdy-minded individual into a shrieking spiral of tormented madness. We should take this as a positive.
leah says
Britney’s album didn’t flop! At all. the music industry is dyeing due to illegal downloads, over 1million records with out promoion, that isnt a flop. And you should be nicer to our dear britney, because you are right everyone does care, and the number of hits you get tripples when ever you do a post on her
Justanotherbritney says
Ok, this was a little harsh. The girl comes to charity to HELP and she gets trashed for it? She looked beautiful, was well mannered and supportive, yet some people just can’t let her be. Ridiculous, grow up heckler spray authors…
Melodie says
Well, but it was a bomb by Britney Spears’s standards, hey? She used to sell way more albums than that.
As for the number of hits tripling when they do a Britney post, I dunno if that’s so, but if it is… well. It’s not as if they’ve *ever* posted anything especially nice about her, is it? I don’t think that’s the key, here.
The Joker says
Less than a million records sold in the U.S. market is a failure for an artist of Britney’s (former) stature. (It’s even worse if you allow for the number of Britney fans that claim they bought 20 copies each, or the thousands of copies that the record label supposedly bought to get the album up there in the charts).
Besides, who needs promotion when the artist is the most searched thing on the internet, and is on the news most days? Face it, everyone in the Western world that could possibly have wanted this album was aware that it existed. They made a concious choice in not buying the album.
Britney was never much of a singer anyway. She was a “performer”, and her fame was primarily for the live shows (and near-porno videos) she used to do. Take away those performances (which she no longer seems capable of), and you’re left with someone who isn’t much more of a musician than Paris Hilton (!).
urban of breatheheavy says
Okay this article is incorrect and is trying to downgrade BRitney’s achievements. okay firstly the album was not a flop. It was a hit with critics and fans and is considered some of her best work she has also sold over 3 million albums worldwide with no promotion and her album is still in the top 200 albums on billboard in the US. yes she did use to sell alot more however times have changed and britney with all the negetive publicity people who would normally buy her album legally decided to download it illegally as a way of getting bakc at her.
secondly she did not loose custody ‘forever’ she settled and through the settlement got more visitation now 40:60 instead of 20:80. The custody can be changed again in a few months it is not permanent, no arrangement ever is. The reason she did this is when she applies for more custody none of the evidence previously such as fat tony’s allegations , pink wig wearing crazinees can be used against her, so it’ll be a clean slate again. Seriously how can she win if she is under conservatorship? exactly
To the commenters above/below britney’s voice might not be like whitney’s but it is unique and perfectly suited for pop and mainstream music. Could whitney sing toxic? no. BTW one bad preformance does not constitute someone as ‘over’. i dont know why you hate britney and frankly i dont care but you really should stop caring about what someone u hate is doing. its not only sad, its pathetic
peace.
find me @ breatheheavy.com
gir says
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
Mithaearon says
I miss the britney head shaving days, oh the fun.
evilcl0ne says
Urban can also be found at f*kinidiot.com or awaitingtherubberwallpaper.net