Britney Spears once parped about all of the boys and all of the girls wanting to have their way with her in the thinly veiled If U Seek Amy. In fairness, there’s probably a fair number of people who would, given half a chance.

However, someone who really doesn’t want to bang uglies with Britney is a former bodyguard of hers who is suing the singer and claiming that Spears subjected him to “repeated unwanted sexual advances” and harassment.

Get that! He turned down the chance to shag a celebrity… a celebrity we bet is absolute filth in the sack as well. It would appear that making money from court cases is more lucrative than selling your story to a tabloid. Of course, there’s a strong chance he thought she was insanely minging and that he’d rather dry-hump a sleeping simian.

Anyway, the man in question is called Fernando Flores and he’s filed the sexual harassment lawsuit in Los Angeles, alleging that Britney intentionally inflicted emotional distress.

As such, he wants money from Spears as well as his former employer, Advanced Security Concepts Corp. And with that small detail, we’ve lost most of our readers who are now desperately flinging their CVs toward the security company in the hope that they might be on the receiving end of some sexual advances from a celebrity. If you’re in luck, your first celebrity job will be looking after master swordsman, Henry Kelly of Going For Gold fame.

So anyway, what kind of advances did Britney make? We need to know the details because you lot need to work out whether to be horrified or aroused. Or both.

The lawsuit claims that Britters would expose herself to Flores and summon him to her bedroom whilst naked. Picture that for a moment. Britney Spears wafting her under-carriage at a weeping muscle-man.

Mr Flores isn’t finished there though. He’s also claiming that he saw Spears engaged in inappropriate behaviour around her young sons and once borrowed his belt to discipline them.

Maybe she tried to ‘discipline’ Mr Flores with his own belt as well? Or, maybe, she just likes doubling leather belts up and snapping it together to make that ace whip-cracking noise?

Anyway, there we have it. Britney Spears, potential sexual predator and flasher extraordinaire.

Next week: Amanda Holden waps tit out in front of visiting gas man who fails to notice and gets on with his life.

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