Ladies, are you tired of your beaux sneaking off at all hours of the day or night? Are you so past all the seemingly pointless question and answer sessions when you catch them trying to get back in the house?

Wives and girlfriends of probable philanderers – gather round the computer screen, for hecklerspray is about to solve your problems. Well, technically Britney Spears is solving your problem, but we're an unusually effective conduit for her sage-like wisdom.

It seems the trick to keeping a relationship solid is to totally remove your significant other's free will. It sounds harsh, but he'll appreciate it when you're still blissfully together well into your eighties.

The gossip of the Spears' rocky marriage has been floating about for a while. We've all heard of their supposed bickering, of Federline's wayward eyes, and of her hiring a man to follow him around all the time for nothing less than always keeping him in line – oh wait, that last thing's a new one, but it's true. An insider revealed:

"The last thing Britney wants to do is accompany Kevin on all his club dates, thats why she’s hired a babysitter – a person who will keep Kevin from misbehaving and report directly back to her."

Kevin's supposed to be pretty ticked about the whole thing, and may or may not have been heard whining something about how a babysitter will totally negate any street cred his corn rows ever gave him, plus he's a professional dancer, and how when it rains it pours.

The whole thing started when one of Britney's favorite body guards quit because of Fed's all-too frequent partying – or something. She wanted him to come back pretty bad, and told him this:

"I’ll take care of the Kevin situation, if you take care of me."

Those sweet, sweet words must have wooed him, because the bodyguard came back. What a bum deal for Kev, though. Here he is trying to release a 'rap' album – which means he'll need a tough guy image now more than ever, and he gets slammed with a chaperone ready to turn him in if he so much as pees on the seat.  

And that, people, is the good life only celebrity can afford.

Read more:

Britney Hires A Babysitter… For Her Husband! – MSNBC

[story by Shawn Lindseth]