When you've been through as much of a public breakdown as Britney Spears has, it's natural to want to back out of the limelight to collect your thoughts – or, failing that, at least to have your mother blab all about you to some magazines.
But at least Britney Spears has a mother who understands the trauma that her daughter has been through. Lynne Spears has told Us Weekly that she's saddened to see how the whole world has watched Britney Spears "make mistakes that all of us have made," which is true – at least when we shaved our hair off, waggled our vagina about, puked up, waggled our vagina about again, got treatment for an unknown condition and tried to kill ourselves while claiming to be the devil we had the common decency to do it all behind closed doors.
Nobody will ever really know why Britney Spears had such a dramatic public meltdown earlier this year, but there are plenty of theories. Maybe the collapse of Britney's marriage to Kevin Federline did her in, or maybe Britney was affected by the pressures of being a mother who doesn't regularly endanger the lives of her children. Perhaps it was as simple as Britney not being sexy any more or too much oxygen getting to Britney's vagina that sent her over the edge – but the results were undeniably loopy.
Whether Britney Spears was shaving her head, violently smashing up cars with umbrellas or going to rehab in order to proclaim herself to be the Antichrist, it was beyond reason that Britney was heading down a dark alley. And we're surprised that Britney Spears ever got better, seeing as how she had perhaps the world's worst support system in place, made up of a husband that she left, a manager that she sacked and a temporarily estranged mother who won't stop going to magazines to talk about her.
Britney's mum Lynne Spears has decided to talk to Us Weekly magazine about how sorry she feels for Britney Spears at the moment. No, we're not sure why either. Maybe Lynne Spears has a single coming out or something, or maybe she just needed the money. Who knows. Anyway, this is what she said:
"You go into a time in your life with the world watching and you are just trying to figure yourself out. It's sad that the whole world had to watch her make mistakes that all of us have made at one time or another… Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children. She's just figuring things out."
Ha, take that Bryan and Jamie-Lynn, you insensitive loveless bastards. You suck!
As touching – or woefully opportunistic and badly thought-out, we haven't decided yet – as Lynne Spears' interview with Us Weekly is, it still doesn't really give us a true insight into the mechanisms of Britney Spears' mind. And perhaps nothing ever will, unless they're on her official website and accompanied by pictures of Britney Spears topless in a wig strangling herself, or course.
Read more:
Britney's Mom: "It's Sad The Whole World Had To Watch Her Make Mistakes" – Us Weekly
Nairobi says
I’d love it if once – just once – one of these people went to a magazine and said ‘holy shit, my daughter is such a fucking cunt’
I’d buy it