Even though a monkey with a machete would make a more convincing parent than Kevin Federline, he is admittedly doing a better job of it than Britney Spears – who's so rubbish that she's been banned from seeing her kids again.
Court documents released yesterday have shown that the judge in charge of the Britney Spears/ Kevin Federline custody bitchfight has revoked Britney Spears' visitation rights with her children Sean Preston and Jayden James. No reason has been given why Britney Spears isn't allowed to see her kids again – it could be that she failed a drug test, or missed a drug test, or missed a parenting coaching or counselling session, or something else entirely – so without any proof to the contrary we're going to say that Britney's visitation rights were revoked after a judge saw her trying to cram both sons back up her vagina while screaming that they caused her less problems when they were swimming around in her guts.
Yes, that sounds feasible.
Hands up who thought that Britney Spears was starting to turn her life around. It's OK, we thought the same thing too – with her new album Blackout on the way, Britney Spears seemed to be doing all she could to turn around her old mimsy-flashing ways in order to look like something approximating a normal human being.
After calling her a 'continous and habitual' drug-user who couldn't stop babbling and farting in front of her two young songs, a judge whipped child-custody away from Britney Spears earlier this month, but that only lit a fire underneath Britney. Determined to prove everyone wrong, Britney Spears started passing drug tests and visiting her sons and letting them sleep with her again and everything looked just peachy. But now, just like when Britney decided to use her boyfriend as a puke receptacle or a designer dress as a grease napkin, everything's gone tits-up for Britney Spears again and she's not allowed to see her kids any more. Sky reports:
There's more news from the Britney Spears camp. As it seems Brit's visitation rights with her kids have been suspended. This is according to a court document released yesterday. The document reads: "(Spears') visitation with the minor children is suspended pending (her) compliance with court orders." But no further explanation was given. In mid-September the court ordered Britney to complete random drug tests, work with a parenting coach and receive counselling. This new ruling comes after Kevin Federline's lawyer requested an emergency hearing on Wednesday, and was handed down by L.A. Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon.
It goes without saying that this fresh loss of visitation rights will dent Britney Spears' confidence enormously, especially as she's just one week away from her formal custody review hearing which she's being forced to attend. Again, there's a hope that this incident will just make Britney Spears even more determined to be a decent mother instead of the bald goon who farts a lot and feels up girls in swimming pools that her children are used to seeing.
But no cloud is without its silver lining, and now that she's been banned from seeing her kids again, Britney Spears will have more time to go out partying with Avril Lavigne. And if it's a choice between two crying children or the songstress behind hits like Sk8ter Boi, Avril wins every time. Not least because her skull doesn't break too quickly when you drop her on her head.
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Carmela says
monkey with a machete!!! love it stu
Rachel says
This is too harsh of a story, have some feelings and look at reality!