When Britney Spears gave up shaving her head, flopping her vagina out and furiously attacking cars with rain protection gear to go to rehab, the general consensus was that we wouldn’t hear a peep from Britney until she left rehab – how wrong we were.

During Britney Spears’ stay in rehab, stories emerged that were so borderline deranged that they made Britney’s act of shaving off all her hair in a weeping tantrum look like the most normal act in the world. How did these loopy Britney Spears stories get out? Through a leak, of course. And now Britney Spears’ lawyers have leapt into action, obtaining an emergency injunction banning the press from revealing any more instances of Britney’s possibly odd behaviour. The British press, that is, because it’s easier to sue here. America, we’ve never needed you more.