Wow, we were right – Britney Spears really did drop her second baby boy yesterday, disappointing everyone around the world who'd thought that Britney Spears had nailed the dumb baby name thing at Jailynn, her preferred name for a girl.
So far, there has only been second-hand news about the Britney Spears baby, most notably from the father of Britney Spears who has reportedly declared that "everything's great." News outlets are still awaiting official confirmation of the baby's birth, name and condition, and also confirmation that – at some point between the baby's birth and right now – Britney Spears somehow managed to get knocked up by Kevin Federline again.
Yesterday we reported that Britney Spears had possibly given birth to a baby boy, and now it's looking as if those rumours are getting a little firmer, with Reuters reporting that:
The syndicated TV show "Access Hollywood" reported on its Web site that it had confirmed the birth with the performer's father, Jamie Spears, who said he had already seen his grandchild, adding, "Everything is great."… Life&Style magazine said Spears' husband, Kevin Federline, sent a text message to a family insider saying: "Break out the cigars! We got a baby boy in the house!"
However, there's every chance that Kevin Federline wasn't talking about the new baby boy that Britney Spears had given birth to, instead referring to a baby he had pinched off the street to use as an audience for some of his awful rapping. The "break out the cigars" line can be attributed to the joy that Kevin Federline felt when the baby smiled midway through his rendition of Lose Control – marking the first time anyone has responded to Kevin Federline's music with anything except grave disgruntlement, although chances are that the baby just had a bit of wind or something.
Despite this flurry of text messaging and grandfather-confirming, Britney Spears has yet to make an official confirmation about her new baby, with a spokeswoman for Britney Spears' record label saying:
"We have nothing to report and when we have we will let you know."
However, knowing how much Britney Spears likes to ride trends – like dipping into Hinduism and larking about on Will And Grace – we wouldn't be surprised if Britney Spears chooses to never officially confirm the birth of her new son, deciding instead to secretly show it to David Beckham and nobody else before eventually annoying Moby by selling her baby pictures to Vanity Fair.
We know what you're thinking – it's all well and good that Britney Spears has had her second baby, but how will it affect you? Well, any more naked covershoots Britney does won't be marred by her massive overstimulating belly, plus the disgusting naked Britney Spears birth statue will probably soon be part of a pair, and baby Sean Preston can take a deep breath, safe in the knowledge that Britney Spears now has someone else to drive dangerously to the skull fracture clinic with.
[story by Stuart Heritage]