hecklerspray had an ex write a book on us once. It was horrible. She detailed our most intimate secrets, like how most of our time was spent in hecklerspray's mom's basement on weekday afternoons/early evenings drinking lukewarm capri-sun with a five-foot boa constrictor draped around our neck. Now that's just private, man!
And you know who feels our pain? Britney Spears. She really does. And this time it's not at the hands of her soon-to-be ex-husband – no! It's at the hands of her already ex-husband. You remember that guy? He was on Seinfeld or something, and was married to Spears for something like 2 1/2 days. Yup, he's writing a book about their childhood growing up together, and how they did-it like jack rabbits for just less than one quarter of their 55-hour wedded bliss.
Those numbers may not be exact, now.
When Britney Spears isn't showing off her koochie-pop, or getting divorced, or being a statue, she's the subject of other people's books. Her first husband, a Jason Alexander who has never played a Costanza, knows this – and he's perched to take full advantage of the situation.
The money grubbing dick-weed (we've been trying to squeeze that one into a story for two weeks now) is writing a book that's supposed to detail a bunch of things about his brief life with a famous last name – like their sex life and what-not. Here's what Alexander says about his forthcoming best seller:
"I have done the first treatment of the book. It's a about a small town guy and all the crazy events that happened. It focuses on all the stuff that no one knows. It's about the marriage, my friendship with Britney and all the lines in between. Britney knows about it. There are things in the book that will upset her. There will be things in the book she will be mad at. It's all the details of the wedding and all the stuff that's been going on. It talks about everything. There is no holding back because that's what people want to know about. It does feature our sex life. It does feature having sex with her and what that was like."
Sticky, we bet. hecklerspray already has four copies ordered. Not because we care about Britney's romp-style at all – heck no! Heather Mills McCartney is our jilted divorcee of choice. We want a copy of Alexander's memoirs to see what life was like growing up in Louisiana for a semi-pudgy retard-looking fool.
We're guessing it wasn't easy.
Read More:
Britney's ex from her 55 hour marriage spills her sex secrets – CHINAdaily