Having a sexy voice is important. If someone telephones you and asks you to buy a timeshare holiday home in Mosul, you’re far more likely to say yes if they have a voice like melting chocolate than if they sound like a pikey screaming at her 12 children in a park.

Yahoo! have conducted a survey to find Britain’s Sexiest Voice. And some of the results are downright confusing.

The winners make sense. Sir Sean Connery (DVDs) and Mariella Frostrup (Books) take the honours, and rightly so. You could listen to either of them read a list of various fungal infections and it’d sound like heaven.

But the others? Some of the sexiest male voices apparently include Robbie Williams (CDs) (voice like a sulky little boy), David Beckham (Books) (tiny voice like Little Mo from Eastenders) and Chris Moyles (voice like the world’s most offensive tuba).

And the women? Apparently, some of the sexiest female voices belong to Jo Whiley (voice like being trapped in a box listening to a tedious backpacker droning on for six months about trekking in the foothills of the Himalayas) and – inexplicably – Janet Street Porter (Books) (voice like an hungry wolf eating a roomful of hamburgers).

Worst of all, Jordan (Books) has made it into the top five. Jordan! But when she talks, it sounds like a seal coughing up a fish! How did even make it into the top eight billion, let alone the top five? We’re stunned.

Who took part in this survey, anyway? It all sounds a little suspect to us.

We can take it for granted that this isn’t a definitive list. So who does have Britain’s Sexiest Voice? Leave your suggestions below.