Here’s part two of our week-long Britain’s Got Talent excito-jam. Why only a week long? Because Britain’s Got Talent is rubbish. Duh.
For the newcomers, here’s what we’re up to – we’re taking stock of all the Britain’s Got Talent contestants so far, picking one each day who we think has a shot at winning. Please notice the difference between ‘has a shot at winning’ and ‘is good’. That’s a very important distinction to make, because deep down they’re all slightly woeful.
Today: the Britain’s Got Talent rundown for Hollie Steel…
Hollie Steel – What would Britain’s Got Talent be without the sad-looking child performer? Slightly less exploitative, that’s what. But still, 10-year-old Hollie Steel has emerged as a real contender this year. Is this because she’s a brilliant ballet dancer? No, because Hollie Steel is a horrible ballet dancer. Genuinely horrible. Her stupid little 10-year-old legs lumber and clatter around with no grace or synchronicity whatsoever, and we hate her for that. However, Hollie Steel can sing quite well, which is good because – as we’ve already stated – her ballet dancing makes us want to throw up on our crotch. Whether Hollie Steel can win Britain’s Got Talent is another matter – she’s up against some desperately ugly people, so she’ll really have to ramp up her ‘bullied schoolgirl’ backstory if she wants to get the Britain’s Got Talent pity vote. And after all, that’s the only Britain’s Got Talent vote.
Tomorrow: Shaheen Jafargholi!
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
i disgree the ballet suit ok but if she wants to wear it that’s fine with me. she is such a fantastic young singer a real star. just super and i hope she gives it her all!!!!!!!
hey she is a lovely girl. I like her singing i think she shall win 4 the final. and i hope she goes throught. yea
good luck holly,.xxx
no more crying holly
be brave
love u loads from sammy x x#
x
I love Hollie Steel’s voice, she is the next Julie Andrews. I felt sorry for her when she broke down in the semi final, she was probaly scared. I do think she deserved to have won, but Diversity was also good. I know she wasn’t on it or anything but if you haven’t heard of Jackie Evancho you should look her up. I do love Hollie Steel singing, but I like Jackie Evancho better. She has a better voice than Hollie does, but they are both good. I am trying to find a way to get Jackie on Oprah or something like that. I think Jackie should have a US tour and a European tour.
I love Hollie Steel. She’s my all time favorite singer in the world. I also love Jackie Evancho, to me she’s like the American version of Hollie Steel. I think they should do a tour together, since they both sing the same kinds of music & have the most beautiful voices in the world. I would definitely go.