Over the past ten years or so, the world has been flooded with countless pointless memoirs and autobiographies. You’ll be able to read Justin Bieber’s soon, which will no doubt say “I was born three seconds ago and I sang some songs and can’t work out how to undo Selena Gomez’s bra, The End.’
And now, we’re due another utterly pointless document in the shape of a memoir from Bristol Palin. She’s hardly known for being a raconteur is she?
This isn’t plain ol’ hearsay either. Bristol’s memoir is already showing up on Amazon.com. We are, presumably, supposed to be thrilled at the prospect of reading about someone with a simpleton mother, teenage pregnancy and how hard it is wobbling around like a giraffe on a see-saw on ‘Dancing With the Stars’.
Unfathomably, this book (currently called ‘Untitled Bristol Palin Memoir’, which for the record, we think the publishers should keep as a title), is 304-pages long! It’s either filled with padding or the book uses an amazingly large typeface. Maybe it utilises the whole ‘one letter per page’ thing?
The book is set for a June 21st release, which is thrilling news for fans of people who like non-events on June 21st.Perhaps it’s your birthday on that date? This book will, guaranteed, not upstage you
Bristol’s memoir will, of course, be published by William Morrow & Co. (a leg of HarperCollins) who published Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rouge: An American Life’ and ‘America by Heart : Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag.’ Both of those were translated from crayon into proper print.
Recently, Bristol has been all coy about her new love interest (probably at his behest for fear of everyone ripping the shit out of him for the rest of his life) and has moved away from Alaska to Arizona. Does Bristol only live in places that begin with ‘A’? Is she going to eventually live in Alabama? Or… er… Aowa? Or Ayoming? Anusota?
Perhaps she could clear that up for us in her memoir or, y’know, write a joke for us about things beginning with ‘A’ that isn’t quite so clunky. And rubbish.
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