Brigitte Nielsen Gets Married To Some Bloke

Brigitte Nielsen marriedHere in the UK, Brigitte Nielsen is known mainly for forcing Jackie Stallone into saying the immortally confusing "Yeah, Brackie" line on Celebrity Big Brother. But there's so much more to her than that.

Brigitte Nielsen is also world-famous for being in Beverly Hills Cop II for about five minutes and, um, no – that's about it. Hang on, Brigitte Nielsen used to be married to Sylvester Stallone too. That's quite exciting. Anyway, Brigitte Nielsen has got married again – for the fifth time – at the weekend. To someone we wouldn't even be able to recognise if he walked around wearing a T-shirt with 'I recently got married to the woman who played Agnes in 976-EVIL 2 – The Astral Factor' written on it.

It takes a very special lady to get married five times, and Brigitte Nielsen is certainly very special. She's about nine feet tall for a start, and her hobbies include throwing petrol stations at the sun, swearing angrily on the television and getting married to anyone who even makes the slightest amount of eye contact with her. In the past, Brigitte Nielsen has been married to doddery old Rambo star Sylvester Stallone, photographer Sebastian Copeland, American footballer Mark Gastineau and racing driver Raoul Meyer, and last year she wanted to get married to her new boytoy, 28-year-old Italian former model Mattia Dessi.

But Nielsen and Dessi couldn't get married last year because – after they had a ceremony – they realised that Brigitte Nielsen was still married to the racing man. Not that the wedding that they had was actually a wedding, of course, as Brigitte's manager Luigi Balduini was only to quick to point out. That:

"was more like an official engagement. They put it on the news that it was a marriage, but it was an engagement, because she was still legally married."

Now, though, Brigitte's divorce has properly gone through allowing her to legitimately marry young Mattia Dessi at the Radisson SAS Golden Sands Resort & Spa in Malta at the weekend.

We can only assume that Brigitte's naked hot tub friend Flavor Flav wasn't invited to the ceremony, since there were no reports of a small man with a clock around his neck leaping up when the vicar asked if anybody knew any reason why Brigitte Nielsen and Mattia Dessi shouldn't be married and screaming "Yeeeeeah, bwoooy!" like a special needs version of Chuck D.

Read more:

Brigitte Nielsen Marries Italian Beau – Again – People

[story by Stuart Heritage]


  1. Mike Selby says

    Factual error:
    The Great Dane was not married to Gastineau, although they had a son Marcus.
    Dessi is her 5th marriage:
    1) Kaspar Winding, Danish musician (son Julian)
    2) Stallone
    3) Sebastian Copeland
    4) Raoul Meyer (son Raoul Meyer Jr.)
    5) Mattia Dessi