You can say what you like about Michael Jackson, but never say that he didn’t have his affairs in order when he died.
Admittedly not for his kids or anything, though. But if you’re an unauthorised Michael Jackson biographer, then rest assured that Michael had you in mind on the day he died. He must have done, because that’s the only explanation for the marijuana, skin-bleaching cream, hair-growing ointments and empty bottles of anti-anxiety drugs that were reportedly found in Michael Jackson’s bedroom after his death.
Damnit, one instruction book about molesting children away from being a clean sweep. Balls.
He’s been dead for months now, but the story of Michael’s death is still too big to concisely contain. One minute he’s dead, then he’s alive, then he was murdered, then he’s a statue. It’s so confusing! No wonder Michael Jackson fans make such an appallingly minuscule amount of sense when they leave comments about him on hecklerspray.
So let’s go back to the start. In fact, let’s go back to the first search that was conducted of Michael Jackson’s bedroom the day after he died. Because court documents detailing the search were unsealed yesterday, allowing everyone to piece together a fully-rounded picture of the man based on his most cherished possessions. Surely he wasn’t the bald drug addict with upsetting compulsive body issues that everyone said he was, was he? Was he, CNN?
In addition to listing two Baggies of marijuana, the detective’s report listed three vials of Latanoprost Plus Solution liquid. An online search found medical journal references to this glaucoma medication also used to stimulate hair growth. Also listed on the detective’s report was Benoquin ointment, a medication used to lighten skin pigmentation.
Oh, OK. Michael Jackson might have been the bald drug addict with upsetting compulsive body issues that everyone said he was, after all. But at least he was nice enough to leave everything just lying around for the investigators to find. By doing so, he managed to halt a number of awful cash-in documentaries called things like Michael Jackson: The Bald Truth or Michael Jackson In Black And White that we would have otherwise been bombarded with in the coming months. So, hey, maybe Michael Jackson wasn’t all bad after all.
Thanks to the unsealing of these documents, we now have a fuller understanding of Michael Jackson in his last few days. And with so many of the rumours about him cleared up, maybe now it’s finally time that we all put Michael Jackson to one side and let him rest in peace.
Well, not completely, obviously. Because there’s still that Michael Jackson tribute concert coming up. And that Michael Jackson film as well. And probably a deluxe repackaging of all his albums. No, letting Michael Jackson rest in peace would be financially inadvisable and we should all do our best to keep him in the spotlight as much as we can, no matter the cost to his reputation.
He liked boys, you know.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
you are a terrible wrighter.
the guy is dead cut him some slack.
Spellcheck is a wonderful thing…..
Much of these drugs are explained by the fact that Michael Jackson was suffering from lupus and vitiligo but real journalism won’t get you any ratings, will it ?
Hey! Cut the guy some slack?! After all, he WAS a star (some say) and should be allowed to do whatever he wants! Just because he was a little-boy abusing, Major drug abusing, disgusting-looking black/white thing…now that its died…we shouldn’t say anything bad about it. LMAO!!
Oh yes, I see what essence your write from
good old fashion and I mean OLD fashion…Jealousy..
The crab that reaches upward to pull the light down.If only you were as beautiful and ebullient as he IS. If only you have given so much to the world~”mainly your Soul”* While every crack#head peered in your window with a magnifier. I believe you wouldn’t Have to write trash like this…I feel for you little crab…If only you could catch up and try real hard to be a better person. I bet you could contribute something good to the world….Good luck* I’m rooting for you!
It must be so difficult making a living being a barely there tiny jealous in the hole little crab…hey but I’m rooting for ya
you can do it!Come upto the light where there is Love…and consciousness..wake up little crab! You can do it!
“If only you were as beautiful and ebullient as he IS”
- You do know that he IS dead, so that should read:
“If only you were as beautiful and ebullient as he WAS”
Unless you are in denial of course…
This writing is so beautiful and has so much HEART it made me throw up into my mouth a little bit. Because really, we are all crabs aren’t we? Little crabs. Tiny little invisible crabs. But we are lucky little invisible crabs because here comes Princess Rhiannon to shed some precious light upon us! Yay! Now we are enlightened little invisible crabs.
Alas, we are also crabs that eschew such light. Yes we are the lightless crabs, the crabs for whom Princess Rhiannon and her rainbow pony brigade toil so selflessly that we might be rescued from the oblivion of our own unfettered ignorance, but choose instead to waive futilely at the moonlit skies above with our stunted claws and multiple eyes. For the consciousness She invokes, from our lowly crab angle, and through our many eyes, strikes a sour chord, the dissonance of an aspiring heart and a failing mind, and listless we scuttle home to our darkened caves, reminded of our own great limitations and moldy, lightless offerings. Now we are sad crabs. For hers is noble toil, and ours so plain; hers fair work and ours the shrouded clattering of our crustacean caste; both, alas, equal in their pointlessness.
If we had but a sequined glove for our shrunken, palsied claws that we might gaze however indirectly upon the reflected remnants of the One True Light Extinguished.
Guessing on HaHA understands SATIRE
Look it up folks….
Michael Jackson was not a child abuser. Please see:
Aphrodite Jones and Thomas Mesereau
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIwehjDPOYU
“Michael Jackson: The Untold Story of Neverland” – Clip 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8dP6em7QZ0
Furthermore, he did his best to help our cruel world. What have you done lately to help a fellow person? Have you visited residents in a nursing home, volunteered at a hospital, donated to charity, held the door open for a senior, etc?
Australia loves Michael Jackson – A True Humanitarian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iwimKsLJTA
Michael Jackson visits the hospital
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWQp1E6ImY0
Yes he did is best by taking massive amounts of drugs and dying. Now we will have endless fans to make fun of.
U GO TO HELL BECAREFUL ABOUT WAT U SAE
Uhh what about the SAE?
http://www.sae.org/servlets/index
And Klaus Von Bulow was an excellent husband.
Seriously Beth, you people scare me.
I don’t know, nor do you, whether he did or did not molest anyone. But I have to ask this, why did these kids parents let their children sleep in his bed? These parents are just as guilty as he is, if he did in fact molest someone. Its called “pimping” its illegal so is “molesting”
You cannot pretend the negative never happened. I will never say he didn’t do good things for humanitarian causes etc, but you cannot play selective truth telling.
To deny – or attmept to dispell 1 truth, is the same as denying or dispelling ALL truth.
Get a grip chick. The man wasn’t a saint, he was a man.
I hope he finally found peace, because Lord knows he never had any in life.
FUK ALL YALL YALL DONT KNOW WAT THA FUK GOING ON SO SHUT THE FUK UP
It’s almost back to school time for you. Hopefully you have an english teacher that actually cares and will teach you how to write.
GHETTO TRANSLATION
I lol’d at the last line.
The previous poster has a brain injury, at least..
Ignoring the idiocy of Neutron’s statement, to be unable to spell the word “Fuck” definitely counts as a new level sub-normal, low IQ fuckwittery..
I’m guessing your parents are also your siblings.
I am getting the distinct impression that NEUTRON is not a rocket scientist. Do they know what a neutron is?
you spend all your time reading the national enquirer and watching jerry springer and tmz no doubt heckler. educate yourself if your going to act as a reporter. much like all the media, who targeted jackson, he was their cash cow, all you do is continue on with the filthy, immature, uneducated gossip, all generated by the media to sell and make billions of dollars off people like you. research, educate yourself, learn the truths in what you speak of, like many of us had, long ago. even ABC blatantly circulated lies, showing pictures of jacksons terrible leg infection, from a spider bite in 2002, with screaming headlines that his father gave the photos over, after his death, saying he was in fact an IV junkie and the infection was from too many injections from the drugs he was doing! i wrote them a letter and gave them the link to the true story, with those pics, telling them they are busted once again, lying and reporting pure trash to sell more copies. mj had been violated of his privacy and dignity, they refused to report of the extent and severity of his vitilago, and still say he wanted to be white, was bleaching his skin…. total ignorance. they refused to report on the extent adn severity of his lupus, as well as the 2nd adn 3rd degree burns he got in the pepsi commercial. why? casue inbred, uneducated, unemployed, ignorant, racists people who spend billions fo dollars a year buying their garbage wont pay to read the truth. plus, the media would look bad, ridiculing someone with 2 terrible diseases that have terrible life altering impacts, physically and emotionaly. lets not forget the horrific abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. so unspeakable, he would shake, cry or faint when he saw him, or spoke of the abuse over the years. one could criticize him all you want, but educate yourself first, before you speak. it just makes you look much more stupid than you really are. let the man rest in peace already, isntead of continuing the lies and regurgitating what the media is still peddling about jackson. he was a great humanitarian. no other famous person has given as much as he had, ever. he did so much for sick and dying children around the world but the media doesnt want you to know that. they prefer to keep making shit up about him cause ppl like you believe it, and, have nothing better to do with your time or money, than to buy into it all. Geraldo Rivera siad it best, jackson is the most frivously sued person in the entire world. used, betrayed, blackmailed, extorted, controlled and manipulated. he was too sensitive to the pain of others over his own. too generous, too trusting, and was blatantly targeted by a corrupt, racist and greedy media. when are ppl like you ever going to change?!
jane said:
“when are ppl like you ever going to change?!”
..when people like you learn to think for themselves, value common sense over a silly emotional attachment to a man you never met and finally, when you accept that for any other person on Earth, this man’s behaviour towards children was at best abnormal and at worst criminal.
jane: paragraphs.
One for each point you are attempting to make.
Try it.
I keep saying it’s the flouride, but nobody listens.
Flouride + Brainwashing = Jane
So we’re all in agreement then:
jane requires some sort of psychologist/tutor?
Pop culture exorcisim
The pic they used is scary, I would care less …about MJ!
your a writer? think you better do something else cuz you know nothing bout writing. you have to have someone of a brain. you know nothing bout mj. he was a great man in fact there should be more like him. unless you know what your sayin you need to shut up. cuz you aint worth a crap.
LOL POOR HATERS MICHAEL WAS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A KING….. OH YEAH WHO ARE YOU AGAIN?…OH THAT’S RIGHT NOBODY KNOWS LOL…. repent you lil child.
hey, i know who you are
! you’re Stuart, right? the ASSHOLE! pay respect to the deceased, especially ones who was never found guilty!