Breaking News: Mariah Carey Loves Photoshop; Also, the Sky is Blue

realdollmariah

Sometimes I feel like the entire world has had a brain tumor for breakfast and has just lost their damn minds; today is one of those days, because today I read that people are shocked by how heavily photoshopped Mariah Carey’s photos in Wonderland magazine were. That’s right, people were shocked that a picture of Mariah Carey was more photoshop magic than real. Clearly they have not seen her most recent album covers (see above).

Being shocked that Mariah Carey only approves pictures of herself that are heavily photoshopped is like being shocked that Rihanna smokes weed; you’d have to be a fucking idiot to be surprised by either of those things. Yet, apparently she is getting a lot of backlash for what I consider to be some of her least photoshopped pictures in years.

The website, Jezebel, which has a total hard on for exposing celeb photoshop, recently revealed a bunch of before and after pictures from Mariah’s Wonderland magazine shoot with creepy ass Terry Richardson, such as this one:

 

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Everyone is all up in arms about how much photoshop was used, but I actually feel the exact opposite. I mean, have you seen the pictures Mariah uses for her album covers and ads and shit? This is the most natural looking picture I’ve seen of this bitch in years! I mean, look at this shit:

wtf

SERIOUSLY?

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Mariah Carey is clinging to her glory days just like a former high school quarterback who broke his ankle during freshman year of college, lost his scholarship, gained a bunch of weight, and started working at his step-dad’s used car lot. Not only will home girl not allow pictures of her to be released unless she is photoshopped to look like a 1997 version of herself, bitch has actually started Instagramming pictures of herself from 1997 and trying to pretend like they’re new!

The only surprising thing about these photos is that they’re actually kind of classy for Terry Richardson. No one is topless or jerking off a horse or sucking his thumb, so frankly I think this is kind of a step in the right direction for the both of them.

 

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