It has long been foretold that Naomi Campbell’s blood would spill forth upon the land, creeping into every house, every street and every unfortunate gaping mouth that happens to be astounded by the sight of such a big red tidal wave.

In recent years theologians have stated that all the signs are in place, and that the apocalyptic super-model’s body explosion would happen any day now. We’re still waiting.

Let’s hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon either – because as it stands right now her blood isn’t even good enough to save under-weight mosquito children. Well we think that’s how it stands.

We’ve actually only read headlines on the matter.

When Naomi Campbell’s temper flared on an airline and she spit on Caucasian police officers while shouting vile, vile racist remarks at them, it wasn’t her fault. She’s got bad blood, you see. And when you have bad blood then your blood-bubbles can only carry bad messages to your brain. That’s what happened to her, though the popular media is slow to admit this.

We now know she’s got bad blood though, because several Brazilian doctors just told her so. And they know because the bones they rolled landed that way. E! Online gets specific:

“Campbell arrived at the city’s HemoRio medical center on Tuesday to take part in the campaign to collect blood to combat Brazil’s current dengue fever epidemic. The outbreak is the worst in the nation’s history and has already infected more than 75,000 people and killed at least 80 in Rio state…Officials were forced to turn her away because not enough time has elapsed since she had surgery in February for her to be eligible to donate.”

Plus – what would happen if her blood got transfused into more than one person down there. And worse yet – what if her blood got put in people that work in blackberry factories, live on yachts and have steel tipped fists?

Mayhem, that’s what would happen. Well it’s a good thing then that those Brazilian doctors read the smoke plumes that rose up from under the pile of burning virgins correctly and refused Campbell’s germy donation.

It’s simply not worth the risk.

Read More:

Brazil Rejects Naomi Campbell Blood Offer – AFP