It’s here! It’s finally here! The trailer to Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince – the most-anticipated movie adaptation of a book we’ve never wanted to read – is here!

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince is the penultimate Harry Potter book, and although we snuck a look at the last page of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows once and therefore know exactly how everything ends, it still promises to be an exciting revenue stream rollercoaster of a movie experience.

So here it is, the brand new Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince trailer…

Now, we know that in all the excitement the Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince trailer just looked like a confusing jumble of words and pictures, so we’ve taken the time to decode it for for. That’s why we know that in Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince:

*Dumbledore comes out as a homosexual. He has to. Look at that scarf.

*There’s a creepy little kid who either turns out to be Voldemort or Darth Vader.

*Gandalf’s in it.

*In Hogwarts, they keep memories in little glass dildos.

*We discover what the other half of the half-blood prince is made out of. SPOILER ALERT – it’s marmalade.

You’re welcome.