Brad Pitt Ordered To Destroy Jennifer Aniston

It seems like an age ago since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were together. These days, Jennifer is happy denying that she's ever even met Vince Vaughn, and Brad Pitt is busy saving the world with Angelina Jolie.

But it's not as if Brad Pitt has completely forgotten about Jennifer Aniston. Or rather, Angelina Jolie hasn't forgotten about Jennifer Aniston. If reports are true, then Angelina has ordered Brad to remove every last trace of Aniston before she'll move into the Malibu mansion that Brad and Jennifer shared while they were married. Everything - the stale smoke smell, the stack of terrible movie scripts, the remnants of the pity parties she had with herself - it all has to go.

Rarely have we felt so bad about being entertained by a divorce as when Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt split up, because rarely has the heart-wrenching end of a marriage been so much of a riot. Whether it was Jennifer Aniston talking about her "sick, twisted Bermuda triangle," or admitting that she enjoyed screaming at the sea, or Brad Pitt following Angelina Jolie to all the poor countries in the world so that he can knock her up, it was non-stop fun from beginning to end.

But that's all ancient history - it's all Shiloh Nouvel this and The Break-Up that - isn't it? Not quite; if the latest reports are to be believed, Angelina Jolie has demanded that Brad Pitt removes every last trace of Jennifer Aniston before she'll move into the Malibu mansion that Brad used to live in with Jennifer. A source told the Mirror:

"Now they're a family, Angelina wants to make the home their own. The pieces Brad collected with Jen were among the first to go. Then the child-unfriendly stuff was ditched - all the pointy corners and sharp edges."

Pointy corners and sharp edges? We didn't know that Jennifer Aniston kept her spare chins in the Malibu place.

Meanwhile, Angelina Jolie is still apparently failing to endear herself with Brad Pitt's parents. Brad's mother famously loves Jennifer Aniston, but tried to get in with Angelina by sending her some frilly baby clothes. That Angelina hates and refuses to dress Shiloh Nouvel in. Another source said:

"Angelina knows her own mind and knows how she wants her children
dressed. She doesn't like girlie, pink, frilly clothes. You can see
that by how she dresses Zahara. She doesn't want her babies dressed
like dolls. I don't think she realises how much she has upset Brad's family."

But maybe we're focusing too squarely on the negatives here. The Pitt family now know to send Angelina Jolie vouchers for shitty, fashion accessory haircuts and kiddie tattoos instead of pink frilly dresses, and Brad Pitt gets to finally remove all those pictures of Matthew Perry's goonish face from his house.

Read more:

Brad Pitt told to remove Aniston traces - Life Style Extra

[story by Stuart Heritage]