Brad Pitt Has A Tiny Penis: Juliette Lewis
We feel for Brad Pitt, we really do – he must wake up every morning, look at Angelina Jolie sleeping next to him and think "Why didn't I stick with that ropey-looking girl from Romeo Is Bleeding?"
But even though Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis are ancient history, it doesn't mean that Brad didn't leave an impression on Juliette. He did – it's just unfortunate that it was an impression of an underdeveloped pistachio nut hiding in a Brian May wig. Because Brad Pit, according to Juliette Lewis, has a little tiny penis. It's been reported that Juliette Lewis used the Brad Pitt dinky winky anecdote in the middle of a recent concert by her band The Licks in Seattle. And that's a piece of information that those seven people and one injured dog won't forget for a long time.
Brad Pitt has it all – a beautiful girlfriend, all kinds of massive houses around the world, a financially-successful movie career, a much-loved humanitarian streak, children in every colour of the rainbow. But there's one thing that Brad Pitt doesn't have, and that's a penis that doesn't look like the blistered tip of a newborn baby's thumb.
That's according to Juliette Lewis, anyway, who was Brad Pitt's girlfriend back when she was famous. But although Juliette Lewis has now shunned film acting for stumbling around London dressed as a Native American and making a noise like a badger being pushed down the stairs, she hasn't forgotten the good old Brad Pitt days.
Specifically, Juliette Lewis hasn't forgotten the part of the good old Brad Pitt days that involved Pitt prodding her with his penis, which is apparently the size of four grains of sand piled on top of each other. According to veteran gossip columnist Mike Walker:
"After playing a rockin’ set with her band at club Chop Suey in Seattle… Juliette Lewis – who was hot ‘n heavy with hunky Brad Pitt back in the Stoned Age – was mingling at the bar when a wise guy fan blurted out: 'Hey, Juliette, how was Brad Pitt in the sack anyway?'… [Juliette replied] 'He was no… BIG deal, if ya know what I mean! As Juliette turned to head back on stage, the guy yelled: 'Are you saying Brad was the PITTS?' Juliette started laughing so hysterically she banged into a table and sent everyone’s drinks flying – but quickly ordered a round on her and hopped back onstage, still giggling."
We'll say one thing for Juliette Lewis – she might come off as hopelessly bitter by trying to score spurious points by publicly discussing her far more famous ex-boyfriend's penis, but she bloody well loves her puns.
So the question is this: does Brad Pitt really have a set of microscopic genitalia or is Juliette Lewis telling lies to put him down in public? Perhaps the answer is a little bit of both. After all, seeing Juliette Lewis take her clothes off in Strange Days seemed to make most mens' vegetables shrivel up almost to the point of becoming internal, so imagine what looking at her in the flesh must have done to Brad Pitt, the poor lamb.
Read more:
Juliette Lewis Takes a Shot at Angelina Jolie's Man's Manhood, Mocks Pitt? – National Ledger
Juliette lewis was not a happy camper because Brad will not hang out with her anymore. She felt like being ignored by Brad since he’s been with Angelina. SHE IS TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION!! SHE WANTS BRAD BUT SHE’S BRAD PAST AND JULIETTE LEWIS DOESN’T WANT IT TO END LIKE THAT. SHE’S HURT SO, SHE TO GET EVEN WITH BRAD!!BRAD HAD LONG TIME RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL HIS GIRLFRIEND AND EX WIFE. They must be content with him. I don’t Angelina will stay with him is she is not content and happy. JULIETTE LEWIS SHOULD STOP BEING A 5 YRS GIRL THAT GETS EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T GET WHAT SHE WANTS.
Estrell: It is very wise for past girlfriends to move on, but in this case Ms. Lewis would be correct in saying that Mr. Pitt does indeed have a small penis. Obviously you didn’t get to see the nudes photos on the net before they were forced off. But let me assure that in this instant-microscopic is being nice. Cherio
I saw the Brad Pitt nude photos. The pics showed him to have a teeny weeny. Even if “he was just in the pool” the little button on an otherwise beautiful body was disappointing.
I spoke to Juliette after one of their gigs. She said she was totally misquoted and didn’t actually say that !
[...] should get his priorities straight and from that environmentally aware hot piece of man meat who actually successfully once loved that same Ms Lewis. Well… [...]
yes, I remember that nude pic. His body was amazing — but his winky was smaller than average.
However, it does seem to work…
yeah in that picture of him nake, his dick didn’t look big becasue it was flaccid… he wasn’t walking around sporting an erect penis. Flaccid penises are significantly smaller than erect penises. In fact, you could have a 3 inch long flaccid that grows to 9 when its erect. it all depends on blood flow and elasticity of the skin
There are pics proving Bradley is not well endowed, in fact the are pretty damn pittiful!
poor braddy and his teeny weeny peeny!
most likely he is a grower, and his flaccid size might look smaller than most. but in reality, when its erected it can be over 6 inches.
but who cares about his penis? brads a cool guy!
from what i gather it seems the “journalist” took a lot of liberties with a pretty innocent remark. in fact the only one that actually said BRAD PIT HAS A SMALL PENIS is the author.
Angelina was quoted as saying she preferred effeminate men. And BP does morph into his girl of the moment, it seems. Very funny!
Maybe with his 30 million salary per movie, he could have something injected to enlarge his pee wee?
It’s a lie, I’ve seen his penis when he was naked with Gwyneth, there’s not a thing wrong with it!!!
brad pitt is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT SHOW ME HIS PENIS I DONT CARE IF IT IS SMALL!!!!!!!
HA! HA! …U Have a Small Dick Brad!!!
Obviously there are a few children here who have no idea what a man’s penis should look like. Get you eyes off p o r n mags. Brad is packing enough. And trust he obviously knows how to use what he has. The women he had been with can’t seem to move on. so I think Mr.Pitt is just fine. And I did see the pics. the man is above average.