We feel for Brad Pitt, we really do – he must wake up every morning, look at Angelina Jolie sleeping next to him and think "Why didn't I stick with that ropey-looking girl from Romeo Is Bleeding?"
But even though Brad Pitt and Juliette Lewis are ancient history, it doesn't mean that Brad didn't leave an impression on Juliette. He did – it's just unfortunate that it was an impression of an underdeveloped pistachio nut hiding in a Brian May wig. Because Brad Pit, according to Juliette Lewis, has a little tiny penis. It's been reported that Juliette Lewis used the Brad Pitt dinky winky anecdote in the middle of a recent concert by her band The Licks in Seattle. And that's a piece of information that those seven people and one injured dog won't forget for a long time.
Brad Pitt has it all – a beautiful girlfriend, all kinds of massive houses around the world, a financially-successful movie career, a much-loved humanitarian streak, children in every colour of the rainbow. But there's one thing that Brad Pitt doesn't have, and that's a penis that doesn't look like the blistered tip of a newborn baby's thumb.
That's according to Juliette Lewis, anyway, who was Brad Pitt's girlfriend back when she was famous. But although Juliette Lewis has now shunned film acting for stumbling around London dressed as a Native American and making a noise like a badger being pushed down the stairs, she hasn't forgotten the good old Brad Pitt days.
Specifically, Juliette Lewis hasn't forgotten the part of the good old Brad Pitt days that involved Pitt prodding her with his penis, which is apparently the size of four grains of sand piled on top of each other. According to veteran gossip columnist Mike Walker:
"After playing a rockin’ set with her band at club Chop Suey in Seattle… Juliette Lewis – who was hot ‘n heavy with hunky Brad Pitt back in the Stoned Age – was mingling at the bar when a wise guy fan blurted out: 'Hey, Juliette, how was Brad Pitt in the sack anyway?'… [Juliette replied] 'He was no… BIG deal, if ya know what I mean! As Juliette turned to head back on stage, the guy yelled: 'Are you saying Brad was the PITTS?' Juliette started laughing so hysterically she banged into a table and sent everyone’s drinks flying – but quickly ordered a round on her and hopped back onstage, still giggling."
We'll say one thing for Juliette Lewis – she might come off as hopelessly bitter by trying to score spurious points by publicly discussing her far more famous ex-boyfriend's penis, but she bloody well loves her puns.
So the question is this: does Brad Pitt really have a set of microscopic genitalia or is Juliette Lewis telling lies to put him down in public? Perhaps the answer is a little bit of both. After all, seeing Juliette Lewis take her clothes off in Strange Days seemed to make most mens' vegetables shrivel up almost to the point of becoming internal, so imagine what looking at her in the flesh must have done to Brad Pitt, the poor lamb.
Read more:
Juliette Lewis Takes a Shot at Angelina Jolie's Man's Manhood, Mocks Pitt? – National Ledger
{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }
Juliette lewis was not a happy camper because Brad will not hang out with her anymore. She felt like being ignored by Brad since he’s been with Angelina. SHE IS TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION!! SHE WANTS BRAD BUT SHE’S BRAD PAST AND JULIETTE LEWIS DOESN’T WANT IT TO END LIKE THAT. SHE’S HURT SO, SHE TO GET EVEN WITH BRAD!!BRAD HAD LONG TIME RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL HIS GIRLFRIEND AND EX WIFE. They must be content with him. I don’t Angelina will stay with him is she is not content and happy. JULIETTE LEWIS SHOULD STOP BEING A 5 YRS GIRL THAT GETS EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T GET WHAT SHE WANTS.
Estrell: It is very wise for past girlfriends to move on, but in this case Ms. Lewis would be correct in saying that Mr. Pitt does indeed have a small penis. Obviously you didn’t get to see the nudes photos on the net before they were forced off. But let me assure that in this instant-microscopic is being nice. Cherio
I saw the Brad Pitt nude photos. The pics showed him to have a teeny weeny. Even if “he was just in the pool” the little button on an otherwise beautiful body was disappointing.
I spoke to Juliette after one of their gigs. She said she was totally misquoted and didn’t actually say that !
yes, I remember that nude pic. His body was amazing — but his winky was smaller than average.
However, it does seem to work…
yeah in that picture of him nake, his dick didn’t look big becasue it was flaccid… he wasn’t walking around sporting an erect penis. Flaccid penises are significantly smaller than erect penises. In fact, you could have a 3 inch long flaccid that grows to 9 when its erect. it all depends on blood flow and elasticity of the skin
There are pics proving Bradley is not well endowed, in fact the are pretty damn pittiful!
poor braddy and his teeny weeny peeny!
most likely he is a grower, and his flaccid size might look smaller than most. but in reality, when its erected it can be over 6 inches.
but who cares about his penis? brads a cool guy!
But is he really? Maybe he is a twisted, callous, cruel and heartless machine, who gives a fair impression of a cool guy.
from what i gather it seems the “journalist” took a lot of liberties with a pretty innocent remark. in fact the only one that actually said BRAD PIT HAS A SMALL PENIS is the author.
Angelina was quoted as saying she preferred effeminate men. And BP does morph into his girl of the moment, it seems. Very funny!
Maybe with his 30 million salary per movie, he could have something injected to enlarge his pee wee?
It’s a lie, I’ve seen his penis when he was naked with Gwyneth, there’s not a thing wrong with it!!!
Indeed! I agree with you, it’s of course smaller than most ppl would expect from someone like Brad, but come on, it has a decent size, that I’m sure it gets bigger when he…
brad pitt is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT SHOW ME HIS PENIS I DONT CARE IF IT IS SMALL!!!!!!!
HA! HA! …U Have a Small Dick Brad!!!
Obviously there are a few children here who have no idea what a man’s penis should look like. Get you eyes off p o r n mags. Brad is packing enough. And trust he obviously knows how to use what he has. The women he had been with can’t seem to move on. so I think Mr.Pitt is just fine. And I did see the pics. the man is above average.
Who cares about the size of his wee-wee, we love Brad he’s so cool.
Brad Pitt is a beautiful guy. When his nude photos made the internet “circuit” he was the first to say that he is not the most endowed of men. So, what. He has a hot bod and a hot looking cock. He has had a string of lovers and has done much to improve this world including New Orleans and Haiti. That in my opinion is the essence of a real man not how much meat is hanging between his legs. It is a shame we have all become so superficial over things like this in life, that at the end of the day, does not mean much. How many of “you” out there have been with men who are hung like horses but are real assholes and hardly “men”. People need to grow up.
You people are all deluded. I looked at the nude photos and he has a slightly above average sized penis. This is coming from someone who has seen many flaccid penises in his time (US Navy).
This is what porn does to society.
Haha, you are right the girls on this site claim that he has a small one. Lol, they also claim that they don’t watch porn. YEAHHH RIGHTTT!!!!!
Who cares. Some of you kids need to grow up. Juliette lewis is rumored to be the grand canyon down stairs. ugh!
ah so i see. that is why whore angelina cant let him go and seems her only life although shes doing with other guys. how about that?
look at how many girls are obsessed with penis sizes for fucks sake. a female that makes fun of a man’s penis has absolutely no class whatsoever. and seriously sluts, stop watching porn and find yourselves a boyfriend.. get to know each other and you will find that penis size isn’t important.. to the slut who wants to get fucked like a dog in heat, i guess it is important to her void like cunt.. but in all reality, who wants a piece of trash like that?
I totally found a comment that you left way back in August the most “calibrating” thing I have read
…in well…logically thinkin’ the past 3 months.
Thank you.
let me guess scott. small penis?
The journalist is definitely taking liberties here just to drum up an audience. According to the quote, she didn’t say anything about his penis size. In the story as written, she was asked how he was in bed and she said he was no big deal. That’s all. I have my doubts about the story in the first place since that doesn’t sound like anything legitimate news sources have quoted her as saying. She’s usually very positive about Brad.
it is amazing how much it can grow up to almost 7″ when erect! And as big as my wrist around. All the girls tell me I have a really nice one and every girl friend I have ever had have always come bake to me…I think just for that. So I know what it is like to be used for just your body.
Cheers,
RR
If size would have mattered, donkey would have been the happiest person on the earth !
girls have this fantastic way to check you – “u have a small one”
that’s just a game women plays men 
“Neither patient age nor size of the flaccid penis accurately predicted erectile length” and “While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the mean human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm”
Juliette Lewis is just man-hater woman, sad that Pitt left her… and I see the reason if she’s soo stupid bitch
LOL, you people are stupid especially the majority of the people who are talking about penises are women who have no knowledge about penises. He has an average flaccid penis. If you girls call that small good luck with dating pornstars.
Second of all Angelina Jolie is HOT and Juliette Lewis is NOT.
Third of all Juliette Lewis is saying that Brad Pitt is no BIG deal, but she doesn’t sound serious. The writer has just exaggerate the things she said.
I just saw the photo and his penis looks about the same size as mine when it’s soft. Mine is about 7 1/4 “- 7 5/8″ depending on the situation and how aroused I am. That being said, it’s safe to say he’s probably packing at least 7″ or more. That’s big enough for about 99% of women…..
Ricky July 27, 2011 at 3:31 am
I just saw the photo and his penis looks about the same size as mine when it’s soft. Mine is about 7 1/4 “- 7 5/8? depending on the situation and how aroused I am. That being said, it’s safe to say he’s probably packing at least 7? or more. That’s big enough for about 99% of women…..
So ya both have little dicks, simple as that nubby!
ierre April 1, 2011 at 8:06 pm
LOL, you people are stupid especially the majority of the people who are talking about penises are women who have no knowledge about penises. He has an average flaccid penis. If you girls call that small good luck with dating pornstars.
Second of all Angelina Jolie is HOT and Juliette Lewis is NOT.
Third of all Juliette Lewis is saying that Brad Pitt is no BIG deal, but she doesn’t sound serious. The writer has just exaggerate the things she said.
Another little stub!
LMAO @all the girls making fun of brads dick. Act like you wouldn’t eat his shit just to get a chance to lick his “tiny dick”
A woman is more than acunt and a man is more thanacock. This is a very small woman with a need to talk down to a man she hates to admire. Bradly Pitt is a very BIG man where it counts most to be big. He has a big heart, a big bank account and lots of kids with very BIG love for their dad. Also, Brad’s wife respects him which places them both as close to Hollywoody as the planet Mars. Its a real tribute for them to come off as martians in Hollywood where no human thing lasts for long no matter what its size. And another thing about size… In Hollywood the size of a THING is closest to the hearts of men, only a man who loves women would care less about who is unimpressed with the size ofhisSHOE. Pisson HayawathaKuntababe who coulda shoulda woulda but wasn’t anything at all.
That’s real classy Juliette. Real classy. Just FYI, even a telephone pole seems small to the Grand Canyon. That’s free advice. His size must be perfect for one of the hottest women on the planet…I think that lends more credibility.
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