Brad Pitt Goes To Las Vegas With Some Kids, No Hilarity Ensues
You know what’s crazy? When fathers take their sons to places and do things. Boy, that’s crazy. CRAZY.
So that makes Brad Pitt a lunatic. Reports are zinging around about Brad Pitt taking his adopted sons Maddox and Pax to Las Vegas to eat burgers and play Nintendo together. Without question, this is clearly the biggest news of the decade, if not history.
Let’s just be thankful that it was Brad Pitt who did this and not Angelina Jolie, because then Jennifer Aniston would feel obliged to counter it by suckling a wolverine or something, and we’re getting so tired.
Without question, this is going to be a very trying weekend for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. At the Oscars on Sunday, both Brad and Angelina will be tested to the very limits of their ability to smile serenely in the face of defeat, as The Changeling and Benjamin Button will almost definitely get passed over in favour of Depressing Kate Winslet Holocaust Vehicle and Depressing Mickey Rourke Mumbling Vehicle.
So, because they’ll be spending most of next week having the brittle grins massaged out of their faces with a combination of pumice stone and coathanger, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have decided to cut loose.
Well, Brad Pitt has decided to cut loose.
If your definition of cutting loose involves spending hours on end playing a videogame that makes your arm hurt with some infants in the noisiest, most needlessly brightly-coloured city on Earth, that is.
Which it almost certainly doesn’t.
Basically Brad Pitt has gone to Las Vegas with some of his adopted children and that’s the entire story. TMZ reports:
Brad decided to take his sons Maddox and Pax for a guys-night out in Sin City, where we’re told the big highlight of the trip was a trip to In-n-Out Burger — followed by a serious Nintendo Wii bonding session in their hotel room at the Hard Rock. We’re also told the man-Pitts hit up the MGM Grand at some point in the evening because they wanted to check out the lions.
We’re sure that Brad Pitt is having a whale of a time with his kids in Vegas, but where’s Angelina Jolie in all of this? Why, she’s in New York – possibly househunting and almost certainly saddled with changing her twins’ shitty nappies and stopping Shiloh and Zahara from trying to kill each other all the time.
Maybe that’s just how it rolls in the Jolie-Pitt household – the women stay at home wiping up each others’ fecal matter while the men go off gallivanting. Let’s hope so, anyway, because otherwise it’d totally spoil Brad Pitt’s plans to mark Maddox’s tenth birthday with a cigar and brandy party, and also his wishes that the onset of Pax’s puberty should be marked by an awkward, permanently-scarring all-night visit to an unlicensed backstreet stripclub. Probably.
