We've often wondered what it would be like to be Brad Pitt, which is why we've hired a terrifyingly obsessive screaming woman to lurch at us out of crowds and scare us half to death on a semi-regular basis.

Because we'd imagine that's pretty much how Brad Pitt feels right now. At a screening for his new film The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford at the Venice Film Festival, a female fan rendered temporarily berserk by lust launched herself at Brad Pitt and clung onto his neck until members of his security team wrestled her to the ground. This fan-attack is thought to have deeply disturbed Brad Pitt, who now plans to become a United Nations goodwill ambassador for famously handsome men who girls want to kiss a lot, where he can teach the world about the very real threat to humanity posed by girls who want to kiss famously handsome men a lot.

Some people just take things so literally, don't they? Just a few days ago Brad Pitt said he wanted more children as part of the promotion for his new western The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, and suddenly random women are bursting through crowds to try and hump them right out of him.

Brad Pitt has temporarily stopped rebuilding New Orleans by himself to show up at the Venice Film Festival to premiere his notoriously troubled wild west movie. Judging by early reviews, Brad Pitt may have been expected a muted response to his 'self-indulgent' 160-minute meditation on the nature of hero-worship, but chances are he wasn't expecting a woman to make a noise like an agitated guinea pig and hurl herself around his neck until Brad's security tore her away from him but, as Metro reports, that's exactly what happened:

Brad Pitt was accosted by an obsessed fan who broke through the crowd and clung on to the actor's neck at the Venice Film Festival. The 43-year-old was signing autographs on the red carpet ahead of the screening of his new film, 'The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford' when the fan struck. After the woman evaded Pitt's security briefly, she was wrestled to the ground by minders and then marched away. An onlooker said: 'It was scary. The security team must have been embarrassed that somebody got so close to him. She could have been anyone. Brad didn't look too happy — at one point I thought he was going to attack her himself.'

We think that the woman who attacked Brad Pitt might possibly be our new hero. There's a lot to be said for having such skewed logic that you believe Brad Pitt would give up his relationship with one of the world's most beautiful women and all the children they care for together just because a nutter screeched like a witch and leapt at his neck like a sort of deranged vampire with an unhealthy Meet Joe Black fixation.

But there's a darker side to this incident, too – it seems that there's a growing trend for women to attack male filmstars this way. First a crazed fan handcuffs herself to Hugh Grant and then, just seven months later, a woman throws herself at Brad Pitt. Our calculations predict that the next of these fan-attacks will occur in April 2008, when an obsessive film-fan will throw a bucket of bat piss into Jude Law's eyes. We hope.

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Fan Attacks Brad Pitt In Venice – Metro