Brad Pitt Almost Ready With Those New Orleans Houses
Brad Pitt is continuing his quest to rebuild New Orleans in his own image – a bit like God did with mankind, only pinker and more bricky.
As part of his $12 million Make It Right campaign to build a series of cheap, sustainable homes to rehouse those affected by Hurricane Katrina, Brad Pitt has been to New Orleans to unveil a whole host of brand new homes that will… wait, that's not what Brad Pitt unveiled at all. In actuality, Brad Pitt unveiled a load of bright pinks blocks to obliquely remind people about the floods. But the houses are coming, honest, and Brad Pitt has pledged $5 million of his own money to build 150 houses by next summer.
Hang on, that's a good thing. This isn't what hecklerspray does. Damn you for not doing more stuff we can mock you for, Brad Pitt. Damn you to hell.
Ever since Newsweek singled him out as a Great American, Brad Pitt has dedicated himself to only doing good things, like helping Angelina Jolie adopt all the babies in the world and making surefire hit TV shows about humanitarian aid workers in the Sudan and, you know, stuff.
But what's closest to Brad Pitt's heart is the rebuilding of New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. Brad Pitt announced his plans for sustainable, affordable New Orleans houses back in April 2006, and has returned to the scene regularly since to check up on the developments.
But this weekend Brad Pitt returned to New Orleans once again to rattle his tincan at the public to get more money for more homes. And, to help him, Brad Pitt has made sure that hundreds of eight-foot-high pink blocks have been scattered around the Lower Ninth Ward of New Orleans.
It's an installation, you see, and some of them light up. And they represent, um, things. And they'll totally make people give Brad Pitt money for more houses. Oh, look, we don't know. But at least Brad Pitt knows exactly what the blocks are meant to symbolise, as he told the New Orleans Times-Picayune in probably the most needlessly flowery language we've ever heard:
"Right now there are scattered blocks, like they were scattered by fate's hand, symbolic of the aftermath of the storm. But we will be flipping the homes, essentially righting the wrong. Why pink? For me, it screams the loudest. It says that this place, where so many people thrived, is still sitting there like a barren wasteland, and we can change that."
Brad Pitt is undoubtedly doing something very important here, but "scattered by fate's hand"? No, no, we mustn't mock him. Brad Pitt is right this time. "Scattered by fate's hand," though. Nnngg. We've never been so conflicted. This is giving us an aneurysm, we swear.
Anyway, the pink blocks are Brad Pitt's way of raising awareness to make groups and organisations pledge more money to the campaign to build more homes and rehouse even more of New Orleans' flood-ravaged population. It's a noble cause, and to show how much he's become invested in the campaign, Brad Pitt has already donated $5 million of his own money along with producer Steve Bing, to guarantee that 150 homes will be built by next summer.
Incidentally, we hope that the $5 million that Brad Pitt has pledged includes the combined total of the money we paid to see Troy, Mr & Mrs Smith and Ocean's Thirteen at the cinema. We'd be able to sleep so much better at night knowing that Brad Pitt didn't just spend that £22.50 on something nice for himself, you know.
Read more:
