hecklerspray is a humanitarian of deer.  We push and we push trying to gain their equality, you know.  One day we’d like to see them get the right to vote, wear pants and have the option available for full medical coverage should they or their young ever fall ill. Fair is fair.

Jon Bon Jovi is kind of like us that way, except he’s a humanitarian for humans. That’s why he worked so hard to build that poor-house in his one music video. We heard he’d also like to see all humans get the right to rock but not that hard, get the right to act but not that good, and smoke cigarettes as an acceptable form of dieting. Yup, a real humanitarian for humans, that one.

Despite his good loving nature, if you ever dare name a drink after your girlfriend, and your girlfriend’s name kind of sounds like Bon Jovi’s name, he will kill you. With a lawsuit. He’ll leave your particular death for the courts to decide.

Even though The Darkness broke up and they could probably use it, there’s no way in heck Bon Jovi’s going to build them a poor people house – he effing hates them you know. And even though Jon Bon Jovi almost died in a horrible plane crash once, he doesn’t let his new-found lust for life effect his lawsuits.

That’s why his current lawsuit is proceeding as planned. There’s an energy drink called  Mijovi, and it revitalises the drinker exactly as much as Jon's last solo album, using its caffeine and carbonation combination to make the drinker just as queasy as the first three tracks on Destination Anywhere. Well that’s what we heard. The International Herald Tribune gives some lawsuit details:

“Jon Bon Jovi wants the owner of the Mijovi energy drink to change its name, arguing it is too similar to his own. But Marcos Carrington says his coffee-based energy drink is named after his girlfriend, Jovita, not the 45-year-old rocker. In a Jan. 22 letter, Los Angeles lawyer Peter Laird, representing Bon Jovi, objected to the word "Mijovi" as well as other words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" that appear in the company's marketing materials and on the can."

Sounds to us like old man Carrington better change his drink names to something Bon Jovi won’t mind. Itsmijovi & itsmilife are definitely out, obviously, but maybe he should try Shavemichest, Mipepperoninipples or ReeseWitherspoonhaircut. All three of those are Bon Jovi-related classics, yet nobody’s got a copyright on them yet – can you believe it?  

It’s like throwing money away. 

Actually, dibs - ©©©

Read More: 

Bon Jovi objects to name of energy drink – Action News 5