When Bobby Brown's last hit was riding high on the airwaves, it seemed like the whole world was at his feet. But that was the sixties or something, and now 40 years later everything seems to have changed for the worse.

Since his career started to slip there are only a few things that help him forget his troubles. One of those things was humming New Edition songs to himself while he cried alone on a park bench – now in all likelihood he can't do that anymore. His other hobby of choice is heart attacks. Oh – how Bobby Brown loves his heart attacks!

He loves the way they make his chest feel tight, he loves the way his eyes kind of bulge when he first realises its happening again, and most importantly he loves thinking that pretty soon his gross ex-wife won't be able to ever hurt him again.

Also, we're obligated to tell you Brown just had a heart attack, he's never had one before and by all reports he didn't like it. Honesty is always the best policy.

Bobby Brown divorced Whitney Houston and it almost killed him, apparently. Or maybe it was just Brown knowing that Whit's would-be beau Osama Bin Laden was gunning for him. Perhaps it was 40 years of gorging himself on goat meat dipped in Vaseline and pig fat that finally thumped his heart but good – we just made that last one up though, so its probably not that.

Whatever the cause, the centrepiece of Bobby's internal chest just had an attack for which he was taken to no less than two hospitals. According to Fox News:

"Bobby Brown spent a night in the hospital after suffering a mild heart attack, his attorney said Wednesday. Brown had severe chest pains Tuesday night and was taken to two hospitals. He was admitted to Tarzana Regional Medical Centre in the San Fernando Valley."

Its unknown whether or not Brown survived the attack, we'll probably have to wait to play his next album backwards to know for sure. Or we could just ask his lawyer:

"This morning they did diagnose him as suffering from a mild heart attack … they attributed (it) to stress and diet. His father and brother stayed with Brown and he was released Wednesday morning in good condition. He is in great spirits, he's doing very well. He's speaking with family members."

Well it sounds like Brown definitely survived, but since news stories are always way better when they announce a death, we'll just keep playing that fictional angle.

Brown's body was discovered in a cemetery three days after he told a friend he was gonna go try to touch the boobs attached to Anna Nicole Smith's decomposing corpse. The friend, who took several biology classes in high school, tried to tell Brown such an act was impossible as breasts are always the first things to dissolve when you die. Brown's parting retort was that he didn't care about no science, and melted boobs are just as good as normal ones anyway. Then his cape got stuck in a coffin hinge and his legs were eaten by dirt-rats. 

Brown is survived by bandmates that only liked him so-so, a prison warden who really wanted to meet him, and 29 cats he stored in an old refrigerator to the west of his billiards room.

Get better Robert.

Read More:

Bobby Brown Recovering After Heart Attack – MSNBC