Bobbi Kristina Pulled A Woody Allen

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Bobbi Kristina Nick GordonIf you are the product of moderately talented crackhead sperm meeting up with wildly talented crackhead egg, you are just bound to do some crazy off stuff.  So it’s pretty expected that Bobbi Kristina, the daughter of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston, would be a bit abnormal.  But there are still lines here, and it seems Bobbi K just jumped the broom right over it. 

I know technically if there is no shared genetics, then it isn’t incest to start banging your {step} sibling.  But technicalities doesn’t prevent something from being really creepy and gross.  If Whitney was around, she’d be walking around, weave a mess, yelling “Incest is whack!”

Back when Bobbi Kristina was just starting to prefer lipstick to Barbie dolls, and her chubby cheeks were at their peak, Whitney “unofficially” adopted Nick Gordon.  The 12 year old boy’s mother could no longer take care of him, so Whitney opened up her home and her millions, and had the boy live with her as her son.  Bobbi was 10 at the time, and with only 2 years apart, the two were able to grow up all as a mix matched brother sister duo.   Gordon was like DiCaprio’s Luke from Growing Pains.  One lucky son of a bitch.

Fast forward 10 years, and sadly Whitney died from having a little too much illegal fun before taking a bubble bath.  Not that long after, Bobbi decided that the shoulder of her brother from another mother was looking all sorts of sexy, and the two began dating.  This, of course, grossed out everyone around her.  And none were more vocal than her grandmother, Cissy Houston.  Memaw was not the one, and she refused to accept any of this tomfoolery in her family.

The two became very public about their relationship, posting selfies of them making out.   It was like watching that clip of Angelina Jolie tonguing her brother at the Oscars was playing on repeat.  They managed to add public fights, arrests, drinking and drug issues, car wrecks, and more to their love story.  Their love just screamed rational and stable, so of course they got engaged.  And Bobbi tried to play the “This is what my mom would have wanted” card on Facebook.

BobbiKristinaFacebook

And now, Whitney is probably rolling in her grave because the two have gotten married.  Bobbi announced it with this super classy Instagram picture on her Twitter.

Ah, nothing screams love like the toaster filter.

Sadly, all Bobbi knows of marriage is the hot train wreck mess that was her parents, so even outside the whole Woody Allen/Soon Yi issues, there is a very good likelihood that this all is going to blow up.  I won’t lie, part of me hopes the two will make an appearance on Couples Therapy next season, so that I can watch all it happen.   Shitty reality t.v is my vice, and I refuse to kick the habit.

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