Bob Geldof Finds New Daughter In Michael Hutchence’s Dead Balls
Once, for almost a week, hecklerspray was a father or something. Days one to four were filled with Merry-Go-Rounds, cotton candy and in-ground trampolines. Rarely have we known such joy as that we found bonding with our boy.
Then on day five we lost him in a parking lot. We're not worried at all because he was strapped securely in a very expensive stroller, and those things are really, really safe. Also, we know the police will probably find him somewhere. When they do we hope they return him to us maybe with a cash reward or something.
Bob Geldof is a loving parent too. Not only does he have three daughters intricately crafted through the majesty of his own sperm, he also wants to adopt one that's not even black at all. This goes against a very strong Hollywood trend. Specifically – he wants to legally adopt Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, the daughter of Michael Hutchence and Geldof's junkie ex-wife.
And the girl's excluded blood relatives are none too happy.
When we hear the name Bob Geldof, we generally thing overblown global do-gooding. When we think of baby adopting, we generally think of Angelina Jolie with her recently exploded pants, Madonna and her baby-shopping, or a lonely Jen Aniston just trying to fill that void.
Never before have we merged the thoughts of Geldof and child adoption, and surprisingly we're pretty neutral on the matter. Who's not neutral though, is his would-be adoptee's surviving relatives. He wants to adopt a child he's been raising since 2000 – an 11-year-old girl-child named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence.
Geldof was married to Paula Yates until she divorced him and scampered off with Michael Hutchence about a year before the singer died on the business end of a hotel ceiling. Their short union produced Tiger Lily, then sadly three years after Hutchence's demise, Yates overdosed to death. That's right – she overdosed all the way to death!
So Tiger Lily went to live with her half-sisters and mix-master Geldof. After seven years of raising the child, Geldof wants to make the whole thing a bit more official by slapping his last name right on the girl. The child still has family members on the Hutchence side though, and they hate the idea of a name change. Michael's sister Tina says:
"It's not enough that he should have Tiger Lily, but he thinks he should adopt her and change her name. None of the rest of us have seen Tiger, only my mother, and that was with the nanny. In seven years he's given my mother just four days of supervised visits. And the interesting thing is Bob Geldof is patron of a charity called Grandparents Apart – a charity for grandparents who don't get to see their grandchildren."
We understand the Hutchence family anger. It wasn't so long ago INXS covered Mikey with white-out and subbed in a Canadian. Then Johnny Depp refused to ever play him in a movie – and now this? It's just too much to take. We think the family should consider cloning – it'll likely help the healing.
After all, that belt buckle's probably still got some neck-skin on it. Use that stuff.
Read More:
Me thinks that Ms. Tiger Lily may want to be adopted and carry the same surname as her sisters. That would be natural.
I am disgusted an apalled with this article. Fair enough Geldof wants to adopt Tiger but I think she’s old enough to decide whether she wants to be able to atleast visit her grandparents. Though that is apalling, that’s not what i’m disgusted at. This is.
“After all, that belt buckle’s probably still got some neck-skin on it. Use that stuff”
That is simply unacceptable, it was an accidental suicide by auto-erotic asphyxiation and that comment is horrible. Shame on whoever wrote it. Where’s the heart in that? You’re here talking about how the girl is in a custody battle and how she has no living genetic parents, and you throw in a cheap crack like that? That’s unacceptable. Really. What were you thinking?
Concern from a long time INXS fan.
Stephanie.
The belt buckle/neck skin line was pretty funny but nowhere near as hilarious as stephanie’s reaction to it. Or the fact that there are people in the world that describe themselves as long time INXS fans.
That last one is really more scary than funny, though.
Yeah stephanie is pretty funny. She definitely gave you an ‘F’, Shawn.
I think Geldof is cruel and heartless. He shouldn’t have been given the right to raise this beautiful child. This man does not allow Michael’s family to see Tiger Lily. If he really cared for this child he would allow the Hutchense family to have a realtionship with them. Tiger Lily should know her father through the eyes of those who truly knew and loved him. Instead she’ll learn of her father( Michael Hutchense) from a man that still has resentment and hate for Micahel. The UK court system clearly did not do right by her. I’m certain the Hutchense family would never have interfered with Tiger Lily from having a relationship with her sisters. It’s ironic how Geldof has not shown the same curtiosy. Geldof knows Michael would never have chosen him to raise Michael’s only child. Of all the good Geldof tries to do for others, he has not done so for Tiger Lily. She will learn the truth someday. Those who love Michael will never give up on him or Tiger Lily.
you’re a wanker, maybe we should hang your stupid ass from a door, faggot.
this article is sick & disgusting! how do we know what really happened? we only see it on here. we shouldnt believe everything we read. tiger lilys a precious young teen now & im sure by now she has seen or heard about all this crap going on in her life! poor child! i feel so bad for her. why is she being raised by a man whos not her real father or not at all blood related? thats just so dumb! her grandparents or an aunt should be raising her instead! she should have that choice! isnt she old enough to decide? stupid courts! its just not fair! michael would be furious!
Isn’t it funny how the gullible public always buys these suicide stories. The gullible public never wonders how easy it might be to kill someone in a hotel room and create the illusion of sexual perversion to cover up the murder and cast shame on the victim. Character assassination to compound the offense.
Geldof had the money, the motives and the opportunities to “off” hutchense in a shameful setup. Hutchense was worth 20 million. His inheritance passed to his wife. When she died the money passed on to the surviving daughter. Geldof wants the kid’s dough then he will make her disappear in a staged accident to collect her life insurance money.
David Carradine has just recently been “off’ed” using this shame-based illusion to cover-up the murder. Anyways, as long as the dumbed down masses prefer to redicule the dead for their so-called sexual perversions while refusing to look at all the evidence critically there will be plenty more murders disguised as perversion.