Have you noticed a trend in pop that sees artists sampling any old shit, rather than sourcing something that works right for a song? Eminem sampled Haddaway, Derulo used ‘Day-Oh (The Banana Boat Song)’ and Cher Lloyd unironically sang the tune from ‘Oh My Darling, Clementine’.
Who is to blame for this? The Black Eyed Peas, that’s who. Have you heard their use of ‘The Time Of My Life’? Crow-barred, lowest common denominating nonsense to provide modernity to familiarity, thereby, maximising sales and opportunities to get played at weddings and bar mitzvahs.
And now, having fully completed Operation Spoil Music For Everyone, they’re able to take a nice long break, knowing that their work is done. Seriously. They’re totally splitting up.
Pop the corks! Roll out the bunting! Put the heating on for half an hour longer than usual! The Black Eyed Peas, the scourge of ears around the world and owners of the title of Worst Super Bowl Halftime Show EVER, are going away for a long time!
HURRAY!
Of course, we won’t get rid of them that easily. They’re like cockroaches. You stomp on ’em and they leak eggs, ready to make more abominations.
One of the band members who isn’t Fergie or will.i.am… possibly the one that looks like the Jitsu He-Man figure, said:
“We’re going to take a little vacation and focus on our personal things.”
will.i.am threatened the world via dead-eyed Ellen DeGeneres:
“[BEP] always have two cycles of records and then we take a break.”
“When we take breaks you know, we work on side projects and get our personal stuff in order to then come back and make beautiful music”
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC? BEAUTIFUL?
Cookie Monster says
Rest in pease. Aha. Oh, dear me.
Seriously, I hope that they rest, very quietly, and for a long, long time. It does sound as though they’ll be back at the pop trough to gas-up their wallets again, sadly. The actual music detail aside (and that does seem to count for so very little today), who can blame them? They have a nice little cash factory going, and we (speaking in the general sense) eat-up them peas.