I hate to ruin your Valentine’s Day weekend, so I’m going to apologize for this post in advance. Believe it or not, before he played Miley’s dad on Hannah Montana, Billy Ray Cyrus had a music career of his own. Billy and his glorious mullet had an early-90’s country hit with the sweet jam “Achy Breaky Heart”; a song most people deny having ever enjoyed.
Well, apparently after all these years, Billy Ray decided it was time for a musical comeback, but instead of doing something fresh and new, he decided to stick with what he knew and released the masterpiece “Achy Breaky 2″ with Buck 22.
To be fair, “Achy Breaky 2″ is actually Buck 22’s song and it merely features Billy Ray Cyrus, but that won’t save him from my ridicule. The “hip-hop” video opens with a fake “Breaking News” bulletin from Larry King. No, not some guy impersonating Larry King. The real Larry King. Then is shows Billy Ray and some little black kid walking down a back country road when they get abducted by aliens with terrible special effects.
Then they go up in the space ship and the little boy turns into a grown up Buck 22, while Billy Ray stays the same…except he is no longer wearing a leather jacket. So, ok, whatever, I guess. Then Buck is rapping with some weird “sexy” aliens that actually make me kind of uncomfortable, but up until now, I’m still not in hell.
No, I’m not transported into the ninth dimension of hell until Billy starts singing the chorus of the 1992 jam, “Achy Breaky Heart.” It is at this point, I give up on humanity altogether.
Suddenly, there are a ton of bare alien asses twerking and then Billy Ray mouths “Wrecking Ball” into the camera. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
I. Just. Can’t. There are no words. I really hope someone throws the video in here, but if not, go YouTube this shit. If you ever wondered why Miley smokes so much weed, just watch this video and everything will start making a whole lot more sense.