Big Brother’s Kenzie Looks Back On His Life
Then buzz it up
April 9th, 2005 at 12:00 by C J Davies
Celebrity Big Brother’s
James MacKenzie - as the new, serious Kenzie will probably want to be known - is about to release a ’scrapbook format’ retrospective of his epic 19 years. Entitled My Life (surely an oxymoron), the Kenster will apparently reveal details about his time in the Big Brother house and … actually, that’s about it.
hecklerspray would like to take this opportunity to offer you a specially-abridged version of this upcoming literary masterpiece. It goes something like this: ‘Hello. My name is Kenzie. I was born and I was shit. The End.’
Even more alarming is the news that - in some sort of Satanic trade-off - Kenzie will recount his relationship with waste-of-oxygen Jodie Marsh provided that he is given ‘a spot in her upcoming autobiography.’
A Jodie Marsh autobiography? Not since Geri Halliwell’s two-volume crime-against-paper has a prospect been so daunting.
To be brutally honest - and hecklerspray always is - we’re not exactly dealing with Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath here, are we? It’s pretty difficult to imagine the Booker panel getting all excited over the ramblings of a pre-pubescent wannabe-gangster and his brainless permatanned missus.
Although - quite frankly - we’re getting harder to surprise with each passing day …
[story by C J Davies]
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March 23rd, 2006 at 11:43 am
kenzie i luv u so much. i hope the band goes alrite 4 u. i mite b goin 2 1 of ur conserts.wil u email me 2 tel me wen u av a concert cumin up. fanxs samantha
February 1st, 2007 at 10:03 am
kenzie i luv u sooooooooo much, i lurv ur fi body and cute smile
cant wait till ur next concert, i will b there without a doubt, lz plz email me and tel m wen ur
concerts are, cant wait 2 c u and the boyz thanx luv me xxxxxxxxx
September 3rd, 2007 at 11:42 am
kenzie i love you you sexy and horny