It’s been an interesting week in the Big Brother house so far, and that’s a sentence we haven’t used since about 2006.
For some sort of complex reason that we haven’t been able to fully grasp, the Big Brother housemates have been allowed to discuss nominations with each other. As well as revealing exactly how much each contestant wants to win Big Brother, it’s also ensured that the last few weeks of the show are going to be more jumpy and paranoid than Amy Winehouse in a haunted hall of mirrors.
It’s also meant that Halfwit and Marcus will be facing eviction from the Big Brother house tomorrow. It should be a close one, so let’s have a looky…
Halfwit – Look, earlier in the week we said that Halfwit’s invincible run of surviving evictions was over. And this admittedly seemed to be the case following the gigantic row in the Big Brother house over Marcus and the missing cigarettes, when Halfwit waded in and seemed to deliberately make himself the villain of the piece for no good reason whatsoever. But this week Halfwit is up against Marcus, which somewhat tragically means that he’ll probably survive yet another eviction. This is awful news – it means that he’s bound to become even more unbearably smug than usual. And remember that he’s a young Conservative who lives in a mansion with his parents and a large collection of linen jackets, so his level of unbearable smugness is already fairly high. Still, on the plus side another survival means that it’ll hurt Halfwit more when he doesn’t win Big Brother. And he mustn’t win Big Brother, understand?
Marcus - As much as it pains us to say it, it looks like Marcus will be evicted from the Big Brother house tomorrow. And it’ll be a shame, because we feel that we’ve gone on a journey with him. We remember it well – the bit at the start where he seemed like a normal bloke, the bit where he went a bit weird and appeared to threaten Sree with violence, the unsettling bit where he temporarily became Noirin‘s stalker, the bit after that where he wrapped himself in a duvet and refused to move from the Big Brother garden, the bit where he turned everyone against him by hiding their cigarettes, and all the bits where he wanked in the toilet which made up about 98% of his time in the Big Brother house. Goodbye Marcus. We’ve never met you and, well, we’re OK if that arrangement extends indefinitely.
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