Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Betting Odds: Jade To Win?

Now that we've had a full weekend to absorb the various personalities of the new Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates, what have we learnt about this compelling anthropological study?

Well, in a nutshell, that they're all turds. Self-centred arrogant turds the bloody lot of them. At least Big Brother Celebrity Hijack has managed to teach us something already - that if you're young and prodigiously talented, there's a pretty high likelihood that you're going to be an utter bell-end of the very worst kind as well. And we've got a month of putting up with them yapping on about themselves like horrible miniature Donald Trumps as well. Joy. No really, we're thrilled.

So who's going to win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack anyway? Here's the first part of our Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds - for Jay, Liam and Jade - with help from Paddy Power…

Jay - We get the feeling that Jay is only a part of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack because Ugly Betty turned him down for being too much like an offensive caricature of a gay man first. So far all Jay has actually managed to do in the Big Brother house is slur the word "Newoorkfazzyuneek" a billion times and look around distastefully at everything that surrounds him, like he's above it all. Yes, it's the same look as we all have when we watch Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, but then he's the one who's dressed up as a cartoon superhero and and we aren't. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds - 25/1

Liam - We're glad that Liam's rich, because that's just about all the poor sap's got going for him. Liam's spent a lot of his time in the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house blathering on about how he wants to establish himself as a brand, but he hasn't seem to have figured out that most people would rather drive nails through their eyes than have anything to do with a brand that's basically a dull-as-shit infant with a twat's haircut and a mouth that appears to be used as some sort of industrial saliva reservoir. With too-close-together eyes. And a horrible mimbling voice. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds - 20/1

Jade - When Jade last had an IQ test her result was 178. But she was just four years old back then. Now, we don't really know how IQs work, but we get the impression that in the intervening 17 years Jade's score may have dropped by something like 179 points. Jade seems so stupid that she hasn't yet realised that you're supposed to talk out of your mouth instead of your nose, and that the best way to integrate yourself into a group of strangers isn't to burst into tears the instant you get slightly tired. And that being a four-year-old MENSA member doesn't make you intelligent, it just means that you have appallingly pushy parents. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds - 20/1

Tomorrow - Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Victor, Amy and Calista. But if that's too long to wait - or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with - head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.