Beauty queen and inexplicably gifted child Jade was the first housemate to be evicted from Big Brother Celebrity Hijack on Friday, but that’s hardly important.

Nor is the fact that Victor‘s already up for Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction this Friday. What is important is that Big Brother Celebrity Hijack seems to be turning into 24, and we don’t know why.

Look at the facts. As soon as the first housemate entered the house he was given a Jack Bauer-style earpiece to wear, and then on Saturday the housemates were all given a Jack Bauer-style interrogation. What next? Will the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemates have to cut each others’ hands off with fire axes? Will one of them get caught in a bear trap while a mountain lion prowls around them until Matt Dillon‘s brother rescues them and tries to keep them as a wife? We must know!

Anyway, who’ll win Big Brother Celebrity Hijack? Here are the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds to win for Victor, Liam, Calista and Jay, with help from Paddy Power…

Victor – Although hurling a scrawny woman around on a pair of rollerskates is the talent that Victor spoke of when he entered the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house, we’re starting to think that his real talent is escaping evictions even though there isn’t a single person on the planet who seems to like him. Thanks to his ridiculous chauvinism, exceptional conceitedness and inability to express even the simplest of emotions, the entire Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house hates him, the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack eviction crowd vocally hates him and the television audience hates him. And yet Victor is still in the house. What’s wrong with you people? Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 40/1

Liam – Liam is what we’ve decided to term a Big Brother timebomb. The public’s resentment of Liam is building all the time to such an extent that his Big Brother Celebrity Hijack tenure is over the moment he’s even shortlisted for eviction. But what is it about Liam that people can’t stand? His stupid floppy hair? His Wolfman eyebrows? His bizarre transatlantic accent? The way he says ‘guys’ every other word? The fact that he’s only about 12 and already claims to have slept with 50 men and women? The way that he’ll often go somewhere and sit alone just so that he can meow at himself? Why, yes. Yes, all of those things. We’ll worry about Liam taking over the world when we need to, but for now let’s just get him out of the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 40/1

Calista – On paper Calista looks like a lot of fun – what with her virtuoso piano skills and her confusing insistence on painting her face like a native American smashed on Haribo on eviction nights and all – but in person, stripped of a piano for her to smack around singing songs about fannies, Calista’s probably the worst-value Big Brother Celebrity Hijack housemate that there is. It’s impossible to hate Calista, but it’s equally hard to like her because she never does anything. Across the course of a one-hour edition of Big Brother Celebrity Hijack, there’s a chance that Calista will either raise her eyebrows or say “really?” once. We’ve worn underwear more interesting than Calista. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 25/1

Jay – We have to admit we were wrong about Jay. As he entered the Big Brother Celebrity Hijack house we were convinced that Jay was the most irritating person alive. And it’s simply not true – Liam is. But Jay’s a high-ranking runner-up. Jay was one of the first people to talk to Victor about the treatment of his sister – which, given the threat of Victor getting angry and spinning him round on some rollerskates in a fit of rage, was a brave thing to do. But the way Jay talks still bugs us – it’s like he was raised in a capsule Superman-style but, instead of listening to Marlon Brando imparting intergalactic advice, he was force-fed every episode of Sex And The City. Current Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds – 25/1

Tomorrow: Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds for Latoya, Emilia, Jeremy and Amy. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power Big Brother Celebrity Hijack betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.